Chasing Happiness (Completed)

Chapter Ten

Bumangon ako ng 8am para ipagluto ng almusal si Aelius. Sabay kaming kumain pero up until now, mailap parin talaga sya.

I mean, yea, pumayag nga syang magstay ako rito sa bahay nya pero hindi ko parin ramdam na gusto nyang tulungan ko sya. Hindi ko parin ramdam na nagtitiwala na nga sya sakin. It's like he still hasn't losen up to me.

I don't know why pero ramdam kong hirap na hirap na talaga syang tumanggap ng tulong kahit kanino. Pakiramdam ko kahit sya mismo ayaw tulungan ang sarili nya.

Ano bang dapat kong gawin? 35 days na lang ang meron ako. Malapit nang mubos yon. Napakabilis lumipas ng oras. Ano na Angel?!

Ako: Uhm.. so.. maliban sa pagtugtog at pagbabanda, ano pang ibang pinagkakaabalahan mo? Halimbawa kapag wala kayong gig?

Aelius: Matulog.

Ako: And?

Aelius: My life is boring. Maliban sa pagtutugtog at paglalasing sa bar, wala na akong ibang ginagawa. Hindi ako nakikipagsocialize coz I hate people. People trying to get close to me or know me. I hate telling someone who I am. I don't want them to know anything about me.

Ako: S-so.. what about me? Do you hate me too?

Aelius: I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out.

Ako: Then why did you let me stay here with you?

Aelius: Coz you know something about me. Something that I don't just tell someone about. You know something about my past. So, I'll let you stay here until I figure out how did you know about it.

Ako: Nasabi ko na sayo kung paano, diba? Look Aelius, I am here to help you. So I don't care kung maniniwala ka ba sakin o hindi. Just.. just please let me help you. At alam kong sobrang hirap na sayo ang magtiwala ulit, lalong lalo na sakin kase hindi mo naman talaga ako kilala. But believe me when I tell you this, you can trust me. I am here to help you and nothing less.

Aelius: But how can I let you help me if I don't even know if I wanted to be helped? Tinanong mo man lang ba ako kung gusto ko ng tulong or kung kailangan ko ng tulong? If you really know everything about my past, then you'll understand. Why I don't use my real name anymore. Why I don't wanna be helped. If you know everything then I bet you won't say those things anymore. You might don't even want to help me anymore.

Napayuko ako at napabuntong hininga.

Hindi ko talaga naisip na magiging ganito kahirap to. Sobrang hirap kunin ng tiwala nya. Sobrang hirap.

Ako: If you think that I don't understand, then make me. Kase gusto kong maintindihan ka. And believe it or not, I really really want to help you. I really do. Kaya please, tell me. Ano ba ang tungkol sayo na ayaw mong malaman ng mga tao? Bakit ba takot na takot kang malaman nila yon?

Aelius: Everything.

Sya naman ang napayuko ngayon.

Aeliu: Kase minsan ko nang sinabi lahat ng tungkol saken sa isang tao. At alam mo kung anong nangyare? Iniwan nya lang ako. Hindi nya ako kayang tanggapin kaya mas pinili nyang iwan ako. Kaya mula noon, hindi ko na hinayaang malaman pa ng kahit sino ang tungkol saakin. Kase alam ko na rin naman ang mangyayare, iiwan lang din nila ako.

Ako: Naiintindihan ko.

He looked at me straight in the eyes.

Aelius: Do you?.. Sana nga. At sana naiintindihan mo rin kung gaano kababa ang tingin ko sa sarili ko ngayon habang nakatingin sayo, knowing that you know everything about me.