Chasing Happiness (Completed)

Epilogue

1 year later..

Yes, a year have passed so fast.

And who would have thought that my life will even get better?

Who would have thought that I'll still be here breathing and living?

Who would have thought that I'll be stronger?

And who would have thought that I can still be happy?

I'm not sure who did but I'm pretty sure I didn't.

But yes, it's been a year since I chose that decison. A year indeed changed a lot. And I still don't regret any of it until now. I'm actually glad and thankful it happened. Coz it made me who I am today. Stronger, braver, wiser and happy.

A year ago, I wasn't even sure if I could survive another day, another hour or another minute.

A year ago I was still in the darkest phase of my pointless life.

A year ago I was still drowning.

A year ago I was still looking for a way out.

A year ago I was on the verge of giving up.

A year ago, I didn't want this life no more.

A year ago, I still wanted to die.

But look at me now. I survived.

I now believe in the saying that everything takes time. Our hearts and souls have their own ways to heal themselves. We just have to be patient while they do that.

The process might take long. It'll give you tough times, it'll exhaust every cell in your being, it'll break everything there is to break in your body but once the healing is over, it's worth it. It's worth all the pain, sadness, emptiness, loneliness and sorrow you went through.

And today, exactly a year ago, I can finally say that I have survived all those days, months and years in the dark for this day. For this very moment right now.

And I thank myself for choosing that decision.

For choosing life and to live, to be alive.

That I think, is the bravest thing I've ever done. Breathing. Choosing to stay alive.

Staying alive.

I treated myself badly for the past years of my life. It's about time to payback for how badly I treated myself. So in return, I decided to love and apprciate myself more.

I've been through a lot. This girl inside me been through a lot. And she didn't deserve the way I treated her. It's about time to give her what she deserves. The life and happiness. I decided to give her that.

I learned how to appreciate those little things. I learned that not everything that your mind tells you is true. You don't have to believe everything it tells you. You still have the power to choose what you want to believe in.

I learned to smile a lot, laugh harder and feel everything there is to feel. I allowed myself to feel more alive. To feel everything that makes me appreciate life more. That makes me feel alive.

And it's satisfying.

Life doesn't scare me anymore, it excites me instead. Life doesn't seem pointless anymore coz it has those little moments of bliss. Life isn't that bad after all, if you'll only allow yourself to heal and be kind to it while surviving.