Avalanche ~ Nemi (Sequel to Keep Holding On)

2.

DEMI P.O.V.: I looked at the time on my phone. 5: 45 a.m. June 3rd. Monday.

I was sitting on the studio floor, I've been writing all night. My comeback is gonna be near. Just a week and I'm writing more songs for the album I'll drop in August.

Typically I used to write about people I was dating, so this album will be all about me, my friends, my loved ones, my personal journey on the sobriety. I was really happy about the things I was getting. My songs were my truth.

Even tho I'm happy of my music, my life out of the singing thing is a mess. A lot of things have happened this past months...5 months to be clearer.

I'd like to tell you that I'm having a good time and living everyday even more happy than the past one, but I'm not. 5 months ago I could've told that to you cause he was in my life.

I lost my angel, you know? My living angel, the one that was always there for me, the one that always made me laugh when I was sad, the one that knows me the best on earth...I like to think that I wasn't the one who lost him; that he lost me but then it's late night and I get sad and my fingers just want to write a text for him.

I feel like I'm not living, but just surviving. I don't feel the happiness that I should feel just because I'm alive. I'm just breathing. I'm just moving around places and doing things by routine. The only times I feel alive is when I write my songs...not all of them.

I have a bunch of songs that will probably make all of my fans freak out, they are obviously about him. I mean, I wrote references that couldn't be about any other man. I don't mind anyways, they all knew I'm into his.

This. Me sitting on the studio's floor all night up writing is what my last months have been. I sleep during the day and work at night. Some afternoons I watch movies at home, hang out with Matt and Sirah, visit my mom...I do this just cause they're worried about me. They always say "your eyes look tired", "are you sleeping well?", "who are you seeing?", "you don't laugh as often as you did some time ago". I mean I know I don't, I miss him like crazy. Everyday.

Right now I'm looking at our old chats. Damn, that time when we flirted with each other or when we kissed...I'd be lying if I told you that I forgot about the taste of his lips, I won't ever...those lips were like the door of heaven. I know, I'm being a little too dramatic but it felt right. I felt right kissing him...like if we were meant to be.

But even tho I'm saying this, I would've loved staying as best friends still. He hurt me so incredibly bad, I must admit it...sometimes I don't care about it anymore. Sometimes I just need one of his hugs, or his words...his presence.

My heart's broken, it really is. I lost my whole fucking world when Nick left...and I did nothing to keep him close.