Lost Time (Romanogers One-shots)

Always Hers Part 2

Steve POV

I love Natasha. I always have. I always will.

She walks into the room and my heart misses a beat. Crap. Language. I pray that she didn't see me in this state and I wipe away the salt sea that was left behind. I gulp down my guilt and look at her. "Hey, Nat. Umm, what are you up to?" I let out a nervous chuckle at the end and smile. I want to tell her what's wrong but I don't want her to pity me, it's not what I need. I just need her to be here. I sit on the steps and look at the dirty, sweat filled floor.

  Natasha comes and sits down next to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and starts to speak, "what's wrong Steve, and don't lie," she stares at me and I feel bad. I know that I have to tell her, but it's going to tear me apart again if I tell her. I love Natasha with all my heart and I know that I have to tell her, and it has to be now. "She's dead," I speak to her and she gives me comforting look when she realises who I'm talking about. She tells me that it's going to be okay, and I believe her. Because I know it will be, because I have her.

  She's gone Steve, in her sleep. It was peaceful. I'm sorry. I look at the text again and tears start forming in my eyes. I know that I didn't have feeling for Peggy anymore but she was my first love, and a true friend. I look at Natasha and she sympathetically smiles at me, not because she has to, but because she knows that pain I'm going through. She understands how much Peggy means -meant- to me and she wants to show me that I still have people who love me. Like her.

  I write down in my calender what time Peggy's funeral is, 12:00 tomorrow. You'd think that it would be weeks away but its tomorrow. Fresh and painful tomorrow. I don't want anyone else to come, because they'd just stare at me when I cry. They'd smile at me when I lose myself and I can't have that. Not yet.

  Tomorrow- I wake up early and hop into the shower. Turning the nozzle I make it 48°, hot to wash away the pain. The water scorches my back and burns away my sorrow, so for one part I'm alright. Tears run down my face and the water takes away the evidence. Hot water rolls down my back and I close my eyes at both the pain and the space it gives.

  Getting out of the shower I dry my hair with a towel and it goes all fluffy. After I wrap a towel around my waist I realize that I'm still left with bloodshot eyes- from the crying. Grabbing some cold water I splash my face and all is well again. I walk back into the room and see Natasha holding a suit, "for you," she smiles at me and hugs me. I'm grateful, it's what I needed, what I need. I put the suit on and I feel a bit better. Not because it's going to be over soon, but because Natasha is here and she's already made me feel better.

  I walk to the church, seeming as it's only 3miles away and sit down on the bench. Natasha walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek. I didn't expect her to come.

"So, why did you come?"
"I didn't want you to be alone," and with that she kissed me.

  Okay, so I'm not sure about this one. Did it seem like I dragged it out? Or rushed it? Anyway, feel free to leave your feedback in the comments section. Hope you all loved it.
Spitfire out! Pew, pew 🛩