"She just walked away. Why didn't she tell me? And where do I go tonight? This isn't happening to me, this can't be happening to me. She didn't say a word, just walked away. You were the first to say that we were not okay, you were the first to lie when we were not alright. This was my first love, she was the first to go and when she left me for you I was the last to know." - Three Days Grace
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The sound of silence is thought to be one of nature's most healing therapies.
Calming.
Peaceful.
Tranquil.
But not for Prince Zuko. For him, the silence was loud enough to make him feel like he was going mad. He would give anything to make it stop but the sun had long since sank beneath the horizon and with the ship docked in safe waters, the entire crew was asleep. He debated on waking his Uncle but he quickly decided against it. Zuko refused to show any signs of distress. He refused to appear weak. No, there was only one person he had ever been vulnerable with and she was the whole reason the silence was so unbearable.
Aelita Kenshin had destroyed him from the inside out. There used to be a time when the Prince did indeed enjoy silence but he realized now it was when Aelita's comforting presence was near. And if he craved sound? He had no problem going to her. She never judged him, never once saw him as weak. Whenever he needed something to ground him, he would listen to the sound of her voice. But Aelita wasn't here. She had abandoned him and the only thing he had left to listen to was the ever screaming demons inside his head. And no matter how much he wished for sleep, he knew it would never come, not tonight.
Tomorrow was Aelita Kenshin's sixteenth name day.
Zuko stared at the ceiling of his room and thought of what his life should've been had the spirits been kinder to him. Tomorrow should've been the day he and Aelita were engaged. When a girl turned sixteen, she was officially welcomed into Fire Nation society as a woman. As the crowned Prince, Zuko's marriage was something he wasn't allowed to choose freely. The woman he was set to marry would be chosen by his father and grandfather. Luckily for him, the only girl he had even been able to imagine himself marrying was an ideal candidate. Not only was she born to a well-known family and a successful General, but Aelita was also a firebending prodigy. Zuko knew one of the biggest reasons his father had chosen her for him was because the Fire Lord thought she would birth children stronger than the Prince himself.
But Zuko could live with knowing this since it meant he was marrying his friend. When the Prince was barely even ten Ozai had narrowed it down between two potential brides; Aelita or Mei. Mei was the daughter of a government official and a friend of Azula's. Even as a child she was beautiful and there was a point when Zuko even though he had a crush on her. But she wasn't a bender and Ozai was determined to ensure the future line of the royal family was strong.
Zuko continued to toss and turn, his eyes now on the set of swords on his wall that Aelita had gifted him herself. Arranged marriages were far from always happy and loving, his own parent's marriage a prime example of it but Zuko was determined that theirs would be different. He would treat Aelita with the kindness and respect she deserved. If she had yet to already fall in love with the Prince by their engagement he would do everything in his power to win her over. Aelita wasn't like most other women of status like his own sister, content to be confined to a loveless marriage as if it were a business contract. Aelita Kenshin deserved to be in love. And unlike him and his siblings, Zuko's future children would've known their parents loved one another. Zuko shot up straight in his bed and held his head in his hands. That thought made him nauseous.
Their children. Aelita always had a soft spot for children.
"I want a big family Zuko." She had told him one night when they discussed the hypothetical. "Being an only child was lonely."
"So how many would you like?" He asked her with a grin.
"Four."
"Four?"
"It has to be an even number, that way everybody has a friend."
"Four it is then."
Zuko fought the urge to scream. Images of a twenty-year-old Aelita danced through his mind, a toddler with her hair and his eyes on her hip, her free hand supporting a swollen stomach. He couldn't imagine her ever looking any more beautiful than she would be carrying his child. But now who's the child would she carry?
Zuko slammed his fist into his wall. The thought of her with anyone other than him made him burn with rage. Even when his father nixed their betrothal after her own father's betrayal, Zuko still hadn't given up hope on them. He knew the Fire Lord would eventually go back to Mei as his bride instead but the Prince was determined to change his mind. If his father cared about one thing more than his image, it was power. Even disgraced there was still no denying that Aelita would likely produce a far more powerful line of benders than Mei ever would. Zuko had planned on using this to his advantage and swaying his Father back to their original plan.
They could've been so happy, but instead the person the Prince had trusted the most had stabbed him in the back. How could she have left him so easily? After every damn thing that they had been through. Had he really meant that little to her? Did she even care? Why couldn't she have seen her being the Akira could've solved all their problems?
They could've captured the Avatar together.
Returned home together.
Ended the war in the name of the Fire Nation together.
Ozai would've been grateful. He would've welcomed them both with open arms. He would've said yes to anything Zuko asked for at that point. They would've been married within weeks of their return. And Aelita would have stood by Zuko's side the day he took the throne that he deserved.
No, instead, Aelita Kenshin ruined it all. She was too soft. Zuko should've pushed her to toughen up and accept the world for what it was. Once the Fire Nation held control of the world then he could've let her have her way with keeping the peace. It was all the Avatar's fault. The blasted boy must've done something to sway Aelita to his side. He ruined everything. Zuko wanted nothing more than to bring him down himself.
Knowing that sleep would never come, Zuko finally stood. He needed air and out of this blasted room that made him only think of those nights he had spent sleeping beside Aelita. They had just started finally admitting the way that they had felt about one another before she completely shattered him. The Prince slipped a robe over his shoulders and made his way to the open balcony of the ship. He had given Aelita the ring he had made for her here.
"Damn it all to hell," Zuko muttered to himself under his breath. Everywhere he went on this suffocating ship all he could see was the ghost of the girl he loved. Zuko leaned back against the wall and sank down to the ground. Staring at the full moon above, he cursed the spirits for being so cruel, and his mind wandered yet again to Aelita. Tonight would she have been as miserable as him? Probably not he assumed. After all, it was her that left him. And in the silence of the night, Zuko allowed a tear to fall from his eye.
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Enjoy this heartbreaking interlude into the inner workings of Prince Zuko's mind. You're welcome for the feels.
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Reborn In Water || ATLA
FanfictionAelita had never believed that Zuko would find the Avatar alive and well. Zuko dreamed that airbender wouldn't be alone. Aelita Kenshin never had much of a say in her own life. For as long as she could remember every major decision was made for her...