Bulletproof (a superflash story)

•19•

Darkness. Deep darkness. Darkness so dark it's unrecognisable. But then a single flicker of light, a bare candle, the flame fluttering away its movement controlled by the wind. And this single candle lights up the darkness, revealing to me the scene that has yet to play out, the scene of which I've seen a hundred times over. Mon-el holding my hand but this time it's different as the candle gets lighter I see another hand gripping tightly to mine, it's Barry's, this isn't how the dream normally goes. We stop walking and I stare deeply into mon-el's eyes and watch as his eyes light up because the world is in his eyes. He's beautiful, amazing and his eyes are the most amazing thing I've ever seen. But then I then and I see Barry's eyes staring beautifully into me, his eyes are almost glowing it to is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Then suddenly they both let go and stand still and I look at them they both start evaporating gradually disappearing. I can't deal with the loss of one and now I have to deal with the loss of them both, I love them I love them both, they are my life and will always be, they are my loves mon-el was taken from me, or was I taken from him, I sent him away but then again I did it to save him, so was it my fault or his. Well clearly mine I sent him away, I was the reason he had to go away I was the reason and he is probably dead because of it. I killed him. I know I did. I killed him. But then my attention advisers back to Barry, he came into my life and for a little while destroyed the darkness mon-el left within me, Barry is just the best, he was the reason I feel they way I do, I lost mon-el but I gained Barry. Barry and mon-el are still disappearing, both gradually fading from my life. I think to get out of this nightmare I might have to finally make a acceptance of what Is going on. Mon-el is gone, he has maybe died, but he is maybe still alive, but gone wether or not that's not important, he's gone and I have to accept that no matter what it costs me, acceptance is probably key here. Barry is my new one, someone I love. Barry is the new one in my life and I'll have to accept that. "Barry don't fade I love you, and mon-el I loved you, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, but I guess I finally have to accept that you are gone, you might not be dead, but if you are then I'm sorry, I know it's probably my fault" I say and the darkness all fades to light, I open my eyes and see Alex standing over me, Barry laying next to me still out but I'm awake and I've finally accepted it. But still something isn't right.