such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter eleven

Gerard pours himself a rather strong drink as he talks with Mr. Pail. He's back at the bar working the night shift.
He still isn't feeling well, but didn't have a choice but to come into work. Gerard can't afford to miss another day of work as much as he just wants and honestly needs to just rest. He has a bad cough, his head is killing him and he's just mentally and physically exhausted.

"Not tonight, no drinking." Bert says as he looks at the strong alcoholic drink in Gerard's hand. He hates to see Gerard drinking himself away. Hating that he struggles with alcoholism and won't even admit it to himself, let alone anyone he's close with.

"Yes sir." Gerard jokes teasingly at the stern underlying tone in his voice. Bert takes the drink from his hand. "I am a grown man who can make my own decisions. You do know that, right?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you Gee. But anyway, you're working, you shouldn't be drinking on the job." Bert says. Bert's just worried about him. Gerard means so much to him, he just doesn't want to see him drink himself away, drink by drink.
He loves Gerard too much to allow him to destroy himself.

Bert knows what it's like to go to sleep praying that he doesn't wake up.
To kill himself little by little everyday in hopes of the pain finally ending.
He knows what it's like to want to die but not have the guts to actually kill himself. He understands, he knows what it's like to need and want help but not have the guts to ask for it.

"Actually, I'm about to head home. I'm actually getting off from work early tonight." Gerard says as he glances over to the clock. Seeing the time strike 9. Taking off the black apron around his hips and setting it on the counter. Saying goodnight to Pail.

"You're off early tonight? How come?
Is it because you're not feeling well?" Bert asks. Walking with Gerard out of the bar and back into the cold. Making sure that everything's okay and that he makes it to his car safely.

"Mikey has sensitive hearing, due to his disability. And considering it's Fourth of July and the town that we live in, there's going to be fireworks. So I took an earlier shift than usual so that I'd be off before fireworks start. I need the rest anyway so it all worked out" Gerard explains as they walk together.

"Is Mikey going to be okay?" Bert worries. Not knowing the extent of Mikey's sensitive hearing condition. Wanting to be sure that Mikey, and Gerard are going to be okay tonight, with all of the fireworks and drunks that with be prowling the streets.

"He'll be fine. I just want to be there, just to be safe. What are your plans for tonight?" Gerard asks, coughing into his arm. He's drained, physically and mentally. He still isn't feeling well, so he's definately looking forward to resting for the rest of the night. And having the next morning off of work.

"Nothing really, I'm probably just going to hang out with the guys tonight." Bert says as the two arrive at Gerard's car. "Get home safe. I'm gonna come by later and check on you, okay? I want to make sure you two are okay."

Gerard can't help but to smile. Bert's so sweet and caring. He makes Gerard so happy. He always knows the right things to say, at always the right times. "Okay. You be safe tonight, and go have fun. I'll see you later sugar."

The two part ways. Gerard being in such a better mood now that he talked with Bert. He always knows how to cheer Gerard up and make him feel better. He's the most caring and sweetest man he's ever met. Gerard doesn't know what he did to desvere Bert, but he's so thankful he has him.