such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter forty five

Gerard lays with a book in his hands. Laid in bed reading to his younger brother. Trying to mask the yells outside the apartment with his voice. It's roughly 3 am, he woke up hearing Mikey leave his room due to the fight outside.

Bert's wakes feeling the lack of Gerard's body in his embrace. Opening his eyes to see his lover is no longer even in the room. Getting out of bed he wraps his arms around himself as the cold air pierces his skin. He walks out of the bedroom and to the cracked door of Mikey's room where a dim rather orange colored light breaks through.

"He finally fell back asleep. He's afraid of the fight outside." Gerard sighs tiredly when he glances over his book to see Bert in the door frame. Only just realizing that Mikey finally fell back to sleep. Moving out of the bed and turning out the dim lamp. Leaving the room and cracking the door.

"Yeah I hear it. C'mon let's get back in bed, it's freezing." Bert says shivering, arms wrapped around his shiftless body. The couple go back to the room, getting into bed and covering up with Gerard's thick and comfy blanket. "I hate that you guys live in this shithole."

"I do too. It wasn't this bad when we first moved in, just this past year it's gotten worse." Gerard sighs, resting into the warm and comfortable bed. Exhausted and dreading the fact that he'll be getting up in only a few hours for work. Even after not barely really sleeping at all.

"How have you been feeling Gee? Has your withdrawal gotten any better?" Bert asks as he runs his hand through the red heads hair. They've been pretty busy recently that he hasn't asked Gerard how he's feeling recently.

"I'm managing. I'm not as shakey as I was, thankfully. What about you? Have you been able to sleep? Are you ready to talk about it?" Gerard asks. He's honestly really worried about Bert. He wakes up every night in a panic, it breaks Gerard's heart to see him like this.

Bert doesn't answer. Instead he snakes his arm around the red head. Gerard sighs sadly, seeing he doesn't want to talk about it. "I'm here for you Bert. Whatever it is that you're going through, just remember you aren't alone through it."

• • •

Bert smiles as he talks with Gerard as he sits at the island of bar. Keeping him company as he works his shift, the two flirting since they're the only ones at the island.

Smiling as he listens to the light and slight accented voice of Gerard. The way his long red hair that touches his shoulders. The way a strand of his hair will often slip from behind his ear and into his face. The thick eyelashes that compliment his mesmerizing green eyes. Don't even get him started on his love for Gerard's smile.

"Staring is considered to be very rude, ya'know." Gerard laughs softly as Bert's eyes haven't left him. Not even paying attention to the what Gerard was saying.

"Well many actually find it quite flattering. I mean, I'm sure if I were to stare at another guy in here, they'd definitely enjoy it." Bert teases him. Watching as Gerard laughs, using the rag to lightly slap him in the arm for that comment.

"Don't you get any ideas, Mccracken." Gerard laughs. The two begin talking about Mikey and that boy Pete. It's been on both of their minds recently. Both wondering they're dating. "No, Mikey would tell me if they were."

Gerard hears the bell to the entrance of the bar ding. Out of habit he looks towards the door and glancing back away, but quickly looks again when he recognizes the man. Zach. Gerard tenses seeing the tall guy look around the bar.

"Bert, go. Go out the back." Gerard whispers to Bert who sits in front of him. Bert looks towards the door, his heart nearly stopping as his eyes meet those if Zach. The familiar hazel eyes that put the fear of God in him. Watching as he walks their way.

Bert squeezes his eyes closed. Fighting the urge to just run away. But he isn't going to leave Gerard, not with Zach here. "Bert. Look I know you don't want to talk to me, I know last time I lost my temper a little bit."

"Zach just leave. He wants nothing to do with you anymore. He's moved on, and so should you." Gerard responds for Bert. Knowing how afraid Bert is when it comes to Zach. Pissed off that he won't leave Bert alone.

"Mind your own business asshole. You think you're can just show up and take him? Him and I have a history, you aren't apart of this." Zach says looking at Gerard with pure hatred and anger. Making Bert sulk back as he examines Zach's all too familiar angry expression.

"He is my business. Stop talking about him like he's some fucking object, you don't own him. And by history you mean hitting and manipulating him? Leave, now." Gerard says. Beyond pissed, fighting himself to keep calm.

Zach looks back at Bert before turning and exiting the bar. Bert chews his fingernails as he sits anxiously, though his hand can't stop trembling. Gerard looks at him, his heart breaking as he examines how afraid he is.

"I'll call in sick. Come on, let's go home." Gerard says coming around the bar. Grabbing Bert's coat for him and walks him out of the bar. Bert's hand grabs and holds Gerard's, looking around cautiously as they exit. Afraid Zach's still around here.

Gerard softly squeezes his hand. Knowing it's bad if Bert's afraid enough that he'll hold Gerard's hand in public. He remains quiet, letting Bert gather himself and his thoughts as they get to the car and begin heading home. Knowing this is one of them things you can't just talk out.

Arriving home and heading to the bedroom, Bert just goes into the bathroom. Gerard sighs sadly as he gets into bed, knowing he's probably in there crying. All Gerard can do is wait until he's ready to talk about it, it isn't something you just 'get over'.

Exiting the bathroom, Bert strips of his shirt as he gets into bed with Gerard. Laying his head on Gerard's chest, rested into his body. Just needing this right now, needing Gerard right now.

No words exchanged. No words are needed.