such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter fifteen

Gerard tucks some of Bert's long black hair back behind his ear, examining his pretty bright blue eyes complimented by his dark and thick eyelashes.
Examing down to his soft, plump lips.
Bert's hand slipping onto Gerard's thigh. Leaning in closer to each other.
Close enough that Gerard can smell the soft cologne lingering from his shirt.

Leaning in closer and closer until they're lips connect like magnets. Gerard can't help but to smile against his lips before they continue their kiss.

Bert moves some of Gerard's hair back. Taking in the light taste of the cherry chapstick Gerard's wearing. How soft, and extremely cold his lips are. His hand sliding into Bert's own. The kiss slows down before coming to an end.

"Was that enough affection to keep you from making out with any other guy but me?" Bert whispers charmingly. Their lips still only half a centimeter away from each other.

Gerard giggles softly. "Definitely so."

"Good." Bert smiles, softly kissing Gerard once more. Though this time, deeper. As their makeout continues on, they lay back on the couch. Bert clearly ontop. Gerard's definately a bottom. He could be top sometimes, but he's more of a bottom. The exact definition of what you would call a twink.

Bert's hand grips Gerard's hip tightly, sliding it over to Gerard's belt buckle.
He pulls the 100 dollar bill that the guy had stuffed in the front of Gerard's pants. Tossing it onto the coffee table beside the couch they lay on.

"Lemme see some asshole try and win you over with money and a kiss again." Bert says, shaking his head softly. Gerard laughs, honestly finding his jealousy the sweetest thing.

Bert moves off of Gerard, letting him sit up. Gerard covers them up with the large heated blanket due to the cold.
Resting into Bert's side, only for Bert to laugh softly. "What's so funny?"

"Your lips are really cold." Bert chuckles as he wraps his arm around Gerard. Earning a laugh from Gerard who just smiles at Bert. So happy. I guess Mikey was right about them, they were really into each other but very blind to it.
Which only makes Gerard wonder who else has suspected it as well.

"I guess you're just gonna have to warm them up then." Gerard grins teasingly.
He lays his head on Bert's shoulder, tired after a long day. But extremely happy over their kiss. Bert laughs, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

Gerard doesn't know what this mean.
If they're going to officially date or not. But Gerard's really happy that they know their feelings for each other.
That Bert knows he cares and likes him more than 'just a friend'.

"I really want to be with you Gerard,  you know I really do. But I can't force you to hide our relationship. I can't put you through what I put Zach through." Bert says sadly, the reality setting in.
He wants so badly to be with Gerard, to make him as happy as he deserves.

"Baby I don't care if we keep it a secret or not. If you're not ready to tell people you're gay than that's okay with me." Gerard reassures him. Gerard honestly doesn't care about friends and family knowing that they're together or not. Why is it anyone's business anyway?
Gerard just wants to be with Bert.

Bert thinks it through. As bad as he wants to be with him, it isn't fair.
He doesn't have the right to do that to Gerard, it isn't fair to him if he does.
Especially not after what happened with Zach. Bert can't handle being heartbroken like that again.

"We can't, I'm sorry. It isn't fair to you. Believe me, this is for the better. I'm protecting you by telling you no. I don't have the right." Bert says, feeling his heart grow heavier as he watches the sad expression on Gerard's face.

Gerard moves out of Bert's grip, heading towards the bedrooms.
"I need a minute."

Bert sits on the couch, feeling his heart ache within his chest. He can't blame Gerard if he's angry with him. But it's better in the long run, right? Gerard won't have to go through the pain and hurt of hiding their relationship. Bert just tries to remind himself that this is what's best for Gerard and Mikey. Though he isn't really sure now.

Minutes pass and Bert gets up, going to Gerard's bedroom. He places a soft knock on Gerard's door. He knows Gerard's upset, Bert can't blame him.
"Are you okay Gee?"

Though he gets no response. Bert knows he lead Gerard on. He was the one who made the move, yet the one denying a relationship despite knowing that they wouldn't be able to be together. Bert knows this is his fault.

"I'll leave. I'm really sorry for upsetting you Gerard. Please at least call me later so I know you're okay." Bert says sadly through the door. Sighing softly as he walks back to the living room and grabbing his coat before exiting the apartment complex.

He calls Jeph as he exits the complex, knowing he'll come pick him up.
Bert wipes a slipping tear as he waits outside in the cold. At least they know their feelings for each other, right?
Or is that making it all the worse?

Time passes by slowly as all he can manage to think about is the fact that Gerard's upset in the apartment complext behind him. All because of him. And the worse part is, there's nothing he can do about it.

Soon the familiar black car of Jeph pulls up in the parking lot and honks at him.
Bert gets in the car, feeling the relief of warm air blowing from the a.c vents.
He just lays his head on the window, remaining quiet. Bert just wants to go home and get in bed after tonight.

"Bert, what's wrong?" Jeph asks from beside him. Noticing the strange behaviour of his best friend tonight. Not his usual happy self, instead he's quiet and upset tonight.

Bert remains silent, in which Jeph gets the memo that he doesn't want to talk about whatever it is that has him upset. Jeph just reaches over, taking and holding Bert's cold hand tightly."Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be okay."

"I don't think it will be." Bert mumbles quietly to himself as he tries to keep the threatening tears from falling.