such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter thirty two

Gerard leans against the inside of the bar island while he thinks. So deep in thought it blocks out the background music that plays, Mr.Pail who's telling him a story and a guy to his right who keeps hitting on him. Stuck on what happened last night with Bert.

Bert told him that he loves him last night. Gerard can't help but to think about what way he meant it. He knows it was probably just as a friend, but what if it was as more? Since they know their feelings for each other. Gerard knows he's probably thinking too much into it, but he honestly can't help it. Either way he meant it, it means so much to Gerard.

"Gerard? Gerard. Snap out of it. What's going on that has you so distracted? I've never seen you like this, is everything okay?" Mr.Pail's voice breaks his deep thought. Making Gerard stand back up straight from against the bar and clears his throat as he snaps back into reality and out of his own mind.

"Yeah, sorry. It's nothing." Gerard says shaking his head as he pours Mr.Pail another drink once he realizes it's empty and has been for the past 20 minutes that he's been spaced out.

"No no, it's clearly not just 'nothing'. Something's obviously on your mind. So what's up? You know I'm just as good at listening as I am talking." Pail insists. Knowing Gerard well enough to know when something's on his mind and bothering him. Especially if he's been quiet all night, which isn't normal for Gerard.

"Okay, say someone told you that they loved you. But you and that someone have somewhat been romantically involved in the past. What does that mean? Like, in what way do you think they meant it?" Gerard explains. Not mentioning his name out of respect.

Pail softly chuckles, already knowing who he's talking about. "Just talk to Bert about it. But he loves you, regardless. Or maybe this is just you questioning if you love him back, and in what way. You're too young to be stressing as much as you do Gerard."

Gerard chuckles at his assumption that he's talking about Bert, which is correct. Before he can respond back to Pail, his phone begins buzzing inside his back pocket with an incoming call from Bert. "Speaking of which."

"Hey Gee, how's work going? I'm sorry I couldn't be there tonight. Is everything okay there?" Bert asks over the phone when Gerard answers. Wanting to be sure that he's going to be okay without him there tonight, feeling bad that he can't be there. But they have another show again tonight, but it's across town in a different and bigger bar.

Guys hit on Gerard constantly, although it doesn't bother him, it pisses Bert off. He hates seeing guys stare at Gerard, see them flirt with him every night. Bert knows he doesn't have the right to be jealous of Gerard and other guys but he honestly can't help it.

"I'm okay sugar, I'll be fine. You just enjoy your show. You kill it out there, okay?" Gerard smiles, bummed that he isn't here. But glad that he's going to be out there tonight doing what he loves and making all his fans happy.

"I'm going to stop by your apartment on my way home tonight, if that's okay. It will be about 2, but I want to be sure that you got home okay and that you and Mikey are okay." Bert says. He likes to make sure that they're okay, weather it's calling them or stopping by and checking on them.

Which Gerard absolutely loves. He loves when Bert calls him before bed, or stops by to make sure they're okay. It makes him feel so much better about where they live to know that Bert's looking after them.

"Don't worry about that, you're going to be exhausted after. Just go home and rest, we'll be okay." Gerard reassures him that they'll be okay. He doesn't want Bert to feel like he's obligated to come check on them.

"Hell- I've got to go, we're starting. I'll talk to you later angel." Bert says before ending the phone call quickly. Gerard chuckles, setting his phone down.

• • •

After working double shifts at the bar along with his shift this morning at the bookstore, Gerard falls into bed tiredly. It's roughly 3 am, he just got out of the shower and finally going to lay down and get some sleep before he has to get up at 7 am.

He covers his cold body up with his soft warm duvet. Though he's startled by a creak of his bedroom door opening up. But smiles when he sees Bert entering, looking exhausted though. "Hey, I expected you to be asleep already."

"Hey sugar, I didn't think you were going to come after your long night." Gerard smiles happily as Bert walks over. Glad to see him after such a long stressful day and night of work.

"I wanted to check in on you, you sounded tired on the phone." Bert says as he rubs his eyes. Happy to see Gerard and that he's okay, knowing that he's been working all day. Glad to see that he got home safe. Bert's been driving Gerard home at night these past few days.

"You're exhausted. C'mon and get in bed. Let's get some sleep." Gerard says seeing how tired he is after his show and honestly not wanting to be alone tonight anyway. Bert doesn't argue, just slides off his shirt before joining the red head in bed.

Laying his arm over Gerard's waist from behind as they lay in peaceful silence before passing out together.