such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter sixty four

Bert closes the door behind Jeph as he leaves his room after talking to him about how Gerard's doing. How he's a mess, how he relapsed and that it doesn't seem like he's planning on slowing down anytime soon. Bert sighs, falling back onto bed and watching the ceiling fan spin in circles.

Bert doesn't know what to do. He can't stand to sit here and know that Gerard's at home drinking and mourning over him leaving. But he can't go back to how things were, can't put Gerard or Mikey in danger. He lost it, he was going to hit Gerard, he threw a lamp at him. Who's to say that next time he won't succeed? That next time he may not wake up and may actually hurt him?

His phone buzzes against the surface of the nightstand beaide his bed. Lifting it up to see an incoming call from not Gerard but Mikey? He can't ignore Mikey's call, he isn't involved in this. It isn't fair. Sliding right, Bert puts the phone up to his ear. "Mikey?"

"No, don't even say anything. Listen to me. My bro-brother is suffering, he is hurting, drinking hi-him-himself away again all because of you. You can't just run away from your problems, be a man. I don't care what happened, it isn't my b-business. All I know is you fix this before I make you regret ev- ever entering his life." Mikey's voice comes through. Sounding angry and upset.

A bit taken back, Bert remains quiet for a moment. "O-Okay.."

Bert hangs up and he bites his fingernails as he sits, trying to figure out how to fix this. Mikey's right, he can't just run away from things. He loves Gerard more than anything, he owes it to them to try and get better. For them. Though he doesn't know how he's going to approach Gerard after all he's done. After a week and a half of rock silence, mental breakdowns and relapsing.

Mikey sets his phone down beside him after Bert hangs up the call. Running his hand through the red hair of his sleeping brother whose head rests on his lap after a minor breakdown. He can't believe that Bert would leave Gerard like this, they were so happy. It had been a long time since Gerard was happy before he met him, Bert changed everything. The first man Gerard's let in their lives in a long time.

Gerard sits up suddenly, hurrying to the trash and getting sick. Still hungover from drinking again last night, even though he feels guilty about relapsing in the first place. Mikey quickly stands and holds back his brother's hair back until he finishes. Sighing softly as he rubs his back.

"C'mon, lets get you in the shower." Mikey says sympathetically, walking Gerard to the bedroom.

• • •

Gerard leans against the bar, sipping his beer as he talks with Pail. They hear a whistle and see the regular cab driver that Gerard calls. Pail stands and puts his coat on, looking to Gerard. "Alright my cab's here, are you going to be okay Gerard? Why don't you ride back home with me, you're already pretty drunk."

"No no, I'm fine. Go home and rest, I'll see you tomorrow night." Gerard softly smiles at him. Pail nods and leaves, leaving Gerard to drink alone. Single, sad and drunk. He's very grateful that Pail drove him home last week, that he cares. But he can't handle hovering right now. Not woth Mikey and not with Pail. Gerard just needs to relax.

As Gerard downs the rest of his beer, he sees someone take Pails previous seat. Gerard sets his glass down, pouring himself some whiskey before the man sitting infront of him speaks. "Let me get what you're getting."

Gerard pours him a glass before downing his own, resting his eyes closed as he allows his body to relax for the first time in a while. The man chuckles as he finishes off his, examining Gerard who leans back against the shelves with his head rested back. "You got any plans tonight cutie?"

Gerard examines the man. Very built, pretty eyes and a calming but alluring grin. Tattoos litter his arms and hands, his button up shirt fit tightly, though the top few are undone. His tattooed hand swirls the cup around as he stares at Gerard, waiting for a response. The response he wants the hear.

Gerard bites his lip and finishes off another shot. "I do now."

[ i'm SORRY (no im not) ]