such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter forty one

"Bert you're being ridiculous. Please just talk to me like a grown adult. I didn't have a choice but to agree to it." Gerard sighs as he looks at Bert. Watching the lights flash over him as they drive down the dark road that's lit by the headlights of oncoming traffic. Bert remains quiet as he drives through the pouring rain towards Gerard's apartment, leaving his. Still really bothered over the fact he agreed to a date with another guy.

"You're going on a date with some guy you don't even know the name of. It isn't fair." Bert says, scoffing at the thought. Not necessarily mad at Gerard, just upset in general. Upset that the man he's madly in love with isn't going on a date, with someone that his own best friends set him up with. On a date that Bert can't take him on.

"I don't want to go just as much as you don't want me too. But I'm doing this to keep your damn secret, so loose the attitude." Gerard says as he wraps his arms around himself. Freezing and tired. Unhappy with the fact Bert seems to be angry with him even though it isn't something Gerard can control.

Bert sighs softly, sliding his hand onto Gerard's thigh and squeezing gently. "I'm sorry. I know you're only doing this for me. It's not you that I'm angry at Gee. I'm really sorry for putting you in that situation."

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault. I mean it's just a dinner, what's it going to hurt. At least they won't suspect anything for a while." Gerard says. He's dreading the date, but if it'll help make sure they don't suspect they're together then he'll do it. Knowing how deathly afraid Bert is about coming out for some reason, even if it's only to his own best friends.

Finally arriving at the apartment after a long but really fun night. It was really nice spending time with the guys. They're all very sweet and funny. Jeph especially, he's really amazing. He and Gerard share a lot in common, and he really gets his odd sense of humor.

Walking in, Gerard sees Mikey passed out on the couch with the lamp on. He obviously attempted to wait up for them to get home even though they called and told him they'd be late tonight. Gerard chuckles at his sweet brother, really happy to see him after a bad day at work.

"Wake up sugar, come get in your bed." Gerard says softly as he lifts the blanket off of his younger brother. Mikey gets up and Gerard walks his half asleep brother to his bedroom, helping him in bed and covering him up. Placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight sugar, we're down the hall if you need anything."

Gerard leaves the room and goes down the hall where Bert's already stripping of his shirt. Gerard can't help but to smile at his beautiful lover. "I love you."

"You're such a dork. But I love you." Bert chuckles, moving some of Gerard red dyed hair behind his ear. Earning a smile from Gerard as he appreciates the times they've been getting to spend together recently. Nights spent in bed together, just talking and enjoying each others embrace until they pass out.

"Why can't we just be together. We're already hiding our close friendship, we might as well." Gerard says as Bert's hand softly grips his waist. Adoring his soft and gentle gestures and touch. He always knows how to make Gerard feel special, even not being together.

"Because that isn't fair to you. Let's just get some sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow. Maybe over lunch?" Bert says with a soft grin. Making Gerard laugh about how smooth he always is when asking him out on a date.

Gerard softly kisses his cheek. "That sounds perfect sugar."

• • •

Gerard wakes to feeling the arms that are wrapped around him from behind begin the tremble. Feeling Bert begin to hyperventilate. It's only been an hour or two since they went to bed, meaning it's still only around 2-3 am.

He feels Bert jult up from his previous sleeping state. But before Gerard can sit up to check on him, he feels Bert lay back down. His arms snaking back around his waist and pulling him closely to him. Resting his face in Gerard neck, still thinking he's asleep.

Gerard frowns as he lays in the trembling boys embrace. Seeing as something really bad is going on with him, and it only seems to be getting worse.