such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter twenty six

Gerard talks with Mikey as they enioy breakfast together before he heads off to school. Gerard thankfully doesn't have work for another several hours, until his bar shift later tonight. "Hurry and finish up your breakfast, we have to get out to the bus stop."

Mikey finishes his food before grabbing his bag. The brothers continue their conversation from breakfast as they walk to the end of the street and wait for the bus to arrive. Until Gerard's startled by Mikey's sudden exclaim to the last person he wants to see approaching. "Hey Bert!"

"Morning Mikey. Have a nice day at school today." Bert smiles after the bus arrives. Mikey gets on and without a word, Gerard just begins walking back towards the apartment. Though he can hear Bert following shortly behind him, knowing he wants to talk about what happened at the bar the other night.

Once they enter the apartment and Bert closes the door behind them. "Gee can we talk about this please? You've been ignoring my calls all morning."

"What's there to talk about?" Gerard shrugs. Just wanting to pretend that it never happened. Gerard isn't the type to confront or talk it out, avoiding it is the best way to ensure that he won't get hurt. Or if he does, it won't be so bad. It's just easier for Gerard to ignore and gets passed it than anything.

"Gerard please just stop and talk to me. Come on, it's okay to admit that what I said hurt your feelings. I didn't mean it the way it sounded." Bert says. The guilt has been eating him alive.

Gerard sighs, turning to him. Willing to talk this out if it makes Bert feel better, even if Gerard really doesn't want too. But he knows it isn't all about him. That there's some things he needs to change if he ever has a chance of being with Bert, of ever convincing him that they could be together.

"Yeah, then how did you mean it Bert? Do you really think that I'd ever out you infront of your friends? I can keep my fucking feelings in check Bert." Gerard says. Feeling like Bert doesn't trust him enough to keep them a secret.

"It wasn't you that I was worried about Gerard, it was as me. You can keep your feelings in check around others or in general- but I can't." Bert admits sadly, sighing as he feels really bad for this all. He knows he should have explained this earlier, he was just a bit ashamed too after causing that argument at the bar.

Gerard's expression softens, calming. He nods to the couch where they take a seat together. Gerard looks at him sympathetically. "Talk to me baby."

"I can't just sit with my friends and you and resist flirting, or wrapping an arm around you. Watching Jeph or one of the other guys flirt with you. I just can't do that." Bert admits, feeling bad that he made Gerard feel bad or like he'd done something wrong when it was really Bert.

"Baby all you had to do is tell me that you were nervous instead of just telling me that it's a bad idea." Gerard sweetly chuckles at Bert, sliding a hand onto his, understanding it now.

"I know, I was just really worried and didn't know what to do. I'm sorry if I upset or angered you Gee." Bert says as he wraps an arm around the pretty red head, letting him lean into his side. Wishing that things could be easier for them, wishing they could be together.

Gerard tiredly lays his head on his shoulder. "Baby, Zach walked by the bar the other night. He didn't come in, but I seen him through the window walking by."

"Oh.." Is all Bert responds, tensing slightly at the mention of Zach. Though he's afraid, he's doing his best to move on from what had happened in the past. Trying to move on for Gerard. He's tired of Zach holding him back, living in constant fear of even a text from him.

"Hey, it'll be okay. There's no way in hell I'd ever let him do anything." Gerard reassures Bert, knowing how much even the thought of Zach bothers him. Those words seem to calm him as Bert relaxes more, squeezing Gerard softly.

• • •

Gerard tiredly pours a drink for Mr. Pail as they talk, pouring himself one as well. Listening to the old man's story about his ex wife and children. How proud he is of his kids, how amazing they're turning out.

It's so busy tonight. It's abnormally busy even for it being a Friday night. Maybe one of the other bars closed down? It's really crammed in here tonight.

Though Gerard's train of thoughts are interrupted by seeing people beginning to set up on the stage. Looking, Gerard smiles when he sees the guys and Bert setting up on stage. They're playing a show tonight, Bert didn't even mention it. Gerard didn't even see them come in.

"Makes sense why we're so busy tonight, they're playing a show. I'm gonna have to start telling people they can't come on, it's too crowded in here." Gerard chuckles, so proud of Bert and the guys for how big their band and music is getting. They're growing and really quickly. The crowd gets bigger and bigget every show.

"They truly are amazing. You're a lucky guy. All those fans would die to be you." Mr. Pail chuckles as he sips his drink. Watching Gerard as he stares at the band setting up on stage, specifically staring at Bert.

"Bold of you to assume there's anything going on between us. Because there's not. " Gerard softly chuckles. Trying to cover up the fact that they're into each other. Out of respect for Bert of course, but feeling bad for lying to Mr. Pail.

Pail softly laughs as he softly shakes his head. "He isn't out yet, I suppose? I get it Gerard, you don't have to explain."

Gerard smiles and looks back to Bert as he sets up his microphone. Examining the smile on his face as he looks into the crowd of his fans. All cheering for them, many wearing homemade merch as they haven't put any out yet.

He couldn't be more proud.