such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter fifty six

Gerard brushes his teeth over the bathroom sink as he listens to Bert's soft and soothing voice sing while he showers. It's the next morning and not a word's been spoken about what happened last night, or at all. Gerard just got out of bed, Bert was up before him and already showering.

When Bert woke up from his nightmare lasg night, Gerard got into bed and kissed him goodnight before going back to sleep. He didn't want to upset Bert more while he was already in a fragile state so they just went back to sleep. Gerard isn't mad or upset, he understands. "Hand me my towel babe?"

Gerard hands him the towel on the rack, going back to brushing his teeth. Bert steps out of the shower and begins drying off before dressing. He walks behind Gerard who now brushes his strawberry colored hair, laying a hand softly on his waist. Taking this time before work to talk to Gerard about it.

"Are you not going to talk about what happened last night? Yell at me, kick me out, anything? Gee we need to talk about it, you can't just act like I didn't do it." Bert says sadly, looking at him over his shoulder through the mirror. He feels so bad. His heart broke when he sat up to see Gerard on the ground, hurt and upset.

"No, we don't need to talk about it. What's there even to talk about? It was an accident." Gerard says, trying to pull away. But Bert's grip keeps him in place, making Gerard chuckle at his boyfriend. What more does he want? What's there to it?

"Gerard I shoved you off of the bed, you knees are probably bruised from it. I was yelling- there's everything to talk about. Why aren't you mad at me? I hurt you, I scared you." Bert says. Gerard turns around to look at him, moving some of his damp hair behind his ear. Knowing Bert just feels really bad, hates himself for what he's becoming.

"You didn't scare me, I knew you weren't going to hurt me. My knees are fine, just sore. But hey, I'm gay so they should be anyway." Gerard lightens the mood with a joke. Offering a sweet smile to cheer him up, knowing how much Bert seems to like his smile.

Bert laughs and softly kisses his lips. "I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean too."

"I know sugar, you don't need to apologize to me." Gerard smiles, placing one last kiss on his lovers lips before turning back to the mirror. They finish getting ready for the day and Bert drives Gerard to work. Morning shift at the bookstore as usual before the night shift at the bar later. Bert drives back home, heart still acheing in guilt.

• • •

Gerard smiles from the bar stool over the counter as he watches Bert in the kitchen cooking. Music playing over the speaker, which Bert sings along with. "Now this is a family secret recipe, Mr. Way. So if you tell anyone that I did this then I'm just gonna have to kill you, understand?"

"You're such a dork." Gerard laughs at his insane lover. Though he's never been more in love, even if it's with an immature child. Sure they have their arguments, their personal struggles and demons. But they make the best of it, they take care of each other. It's brought them closer.

"Pffts could a dork do this?" Bert grins, posing. Throwing his arm in the arm with the spatula still in his hands. His his outward and head thrown to the side. Earning a laugh from Gerard who grabs his poloroid camera that's off to the side and snapping one.

"Not with that ass. Now watch out before that secret family recipe burns, Mccracken." Gerard grins teasingly, though he can't take his eyes off him. Bert's body is honestly hot as hell. The tattoos that line his arms, legs, thighs and hands. A few on his chest. The way the veins in his hands pop out when he grips something, like Gerard's waist often.

But don't get him started on his pretty eyes. You could go swimming in them baby blues. The way he always rubs his right arm when he laughs and tilts back. His award winning smile and charm. His plump and soft lips to never fail to make Gerard melt. His long hair that's never washed, but Gerard admire. It's just how Bert is, and he wouldn't give it up for the world.

"So what do you think about going out with the guys this weekend? They were wanting to maybe see a movie, dinner after. Mikey could come, they really want to meet him. But I know how you are with others around him." Bert asks as they sit at the table to eat, finished cooking.

"I don't know. He's met Jeph and seemed to really like him. But would they be patient with him? I mean his speech and all. Mikey's really insecure of it, I can't risk them upsetting him." Gerard says. He trusts the guys, he really does. It's just his overprotective instinct.

"They'd be patient, they wouldn't tease him if that's what you're worried about. I already told them about Mikey's speech, they wouldn't intentionally hurt him. Pete could come along with him." Bert says. Knowing Mikey would love to get out and that he'd feel better with Pete there with him.

Gerard smiles, actually considering it. He trusts them, even around Mikey. "Okay, I'll ask him when he gets home."

"So how have you been? You haven't been talking to me about how you're handling with sobriety in a while." Bert asks before taking a bite. He's been so caught up with his own issues these past few weeks that he hasn't even asked about how Gerard is. Which only makes Bert feel worse, feeling like a bad boyfriend.

"Oh I'm okay. I mean it's been hard but I'm managing. The last thing you need is to worry about me." Gerard says as he sips his coke. He doesn't want Bert to worry about him, especially not with everything that's already going on. And honestly, helping Bert has taken his mind off of alcohol and the need to relapse.

"Don't not come to me, please Gerard. I'm helping you stay sober, you need to come to me. I don't care if I'm dealing with something or not. We're a couple, we have each other." Bert says looking at him. Making it clear that no matter what he wants Gerard to confide in him.

The two enjoy their dinner with each other before relaxing and watching their favorite t.v show. Gerard's really excited for this weekend, it's a change in pace- something he'd never usually do. But sometimes a little change is good.