such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter fifty nine

There was no denying how stressed he was. The long hours, the withdrawal and taking care of Mikey. Gerard's overwhelmed and stressed. Not to mention his constant worry for Bert. It's all becoming too much, it's all catching up with him. He needs to pace himself but how? There's so much going on.

Today's been a bad day. A real bad day. Gerard was late to work this morning because he overslept. Then got chewed out by his boss for it. Then he gets a call from his mom which only upset him. He then spilled coffee all over himself which he called Jeph to bring him some clothes.

He was embarrassed to call Bert, he knew Bert would make him talk about his bad day which he can't deal with right now. Jeph brought him some clothes and stayed with him through the rest of his morning shift, seeing as something's wrong.

"Thank you again for bringing me clothes and staying with me. I promise I'll return these, and your coat from last week." Gerard says as he plays with the sleeves of the hoodie Jeph brought him. Along with a pair of black skinny jeans. Feeling bad for borrowing these but he's the closest to Jeph out of the rest of the group.

"Oh you're okay Gee, keep them. You look cute." Jeph smiles. Gerard's cheeks heat up and he can't help but to smile at the sweet comment. The two walk out of the bookstore as Gerard's just finished his shift. The two walk to the cafè down the street and order some coffee, talking.

"How come you didn't call Bert? I would have imagined he'd be your first call since he's staying with you and you guys are really close. Are you guys arguing or something?" Jeph asks curiously as he sips his coffee. Sat across from Gerard as they sit in a booth.

"No, no. He'd just worry and I can't handle hovering right now." Gerard says. Running his hand through his long red hair, just really stressed today. The last thing Bert needs is to worry about Gerard. And honestly Gerard can't handle Bert pushing him to talk it out. Knowing Bert would just baby him all night.

"What's on your mind? I get that you don't want to talk to Bert about it since you two are staying together right now, but I'm here for you Gerard. You can talk to me, maybe I can help." Jeph offers. He really likes Gerard, I mean what's there what not to like?

"I'm just stressed, really stressed. And I mean it's nothing new, but here this last week it's really been catching up to me. Trying to keep sober and Mikey being keeping me up at night because he's afraid really isn't helping." Gerard confides in him since they're close enough. And Gerard honestly really needed to rant.

"You're pushing yourself too much. Two jobs while raising a teen on your own, I can't blame you for being so stressed. You need to take care of yourself in between all of it. Mikey depends on you so much, you need someone too." Jeph says, trying to talk him through it.

"I know, it's just hard. I mean Bert helps so much, having him around has been amazing. I mean I do depend on him, it's just there's some things that I can't come to him about." Gerard says. He can't come to him about his issues, not with what's Bert's already got going on.

"I'm here for you. I know you and I aren't as close as you are to Bert, but I'm here. You can call me anytime, day or night. Even if it's something as little as you can't sleep, I'd be more than happy to come over or just talk to you on the phone." Jeph smiles sweetly.

Gerard smiles, feeling a lot better now that he's talked about it. Especially after Jeph's reassurance and encouragment. After talking for a while longer, Jeph walks with Gerard to the bar where he's about to start his night shift. "Are you going to be okay? I can stay with you if you'd like."

"Oh I'll be okay. Bert will be here in a little bit, it's okay. Again, thank you so much Jeph. It means a lot to me." Gerard says as they approach the bar. So thankful to have him as his best friend.

"Don't thank me, that's what friends are for. Just remember, I'm just a call away." Jeph smiles. Jeph knows Gerard isn't looking to date, especially probably a close friend. But that doesn't change how he feels, it just means that he knows not to make a move.

Gerard places a kiss on Jeph's cheek, giving him a smile as he pulls away. Gerard sees Bert when he glances over his shoulder, making Gerard instantly happy. Jeph leaves, saying hey to Bert before.

"Why was Jeph here? And did you change? You were wearing your Brett Michaels shirt this morning." Bert asks curiously as he walks over to Gerard. The two of them entering the loud and warm bar out of the cold. Usually Bert would have come right after his morning shift but he accidentally overslept.

"I accidentally spilt coffee on myself, I called Jeph and he brought me a change of clothes. He stayed with me, got some coffee and talked." Gerard explains as he goes behind the bar island, getting ready to start his shift, letting the other employee go.

"What? Why didn't you call me Gee? Are you okay? Are you shakey today?" Bert questions, concerned. Confused on why Gerard wouldn't call his boyfriend but instead called his best friend? He isn't jealous or offended, just confused. He knows Bert isn't the only person in his life, he knows he has other friends. But Bert was home, he could have brought him his own clothes.

"Because of this right here. I didn't want you to worry and I didn't want you to bombard me with questions. It was just an accident. Plus I was a little embarrassed that I was as clumsy enough to spill my coffee on myself." Gerard says, looking at Bert.

"I'm sorry Gee, if it was just an accident than okay. I know I can be a little overwhelming when I worry, I just want to make sure you're okay." Bert says. Believing that it was an accident, but seeing that something's wrong. He's usually in a good mood, so it's worrying to see him upset.

"I know baby, and I appreciate it. I just want to hurry get done with this shift. It's been a really long day, I just want to go home and rest." Gerard says, placing his hand ontop of Bert's. No one's up at the bar island so they can talk and flirt until rush hour soon.

"Well then why don't we order some take out and talk about it when we get home, okay? We can even order from that nasty Chinese place you love." Bert says, making Gerard smile. He's so lucky to have such an amazing man, he always knows just what to say and do when he's had a rough day.

"That sounds perfect." Gerard smiles, feeling better.

• • •

Bert kisses down his neck as they lay in bed in the dark. It's roughly two a.m and the guys outside woke them up. Gerard bitses his lip, playing with Bert's long black hair. His eyes closed as he takes in the soft touches and kisses against his skin. Calming and soothing a tired Gerard.

"I'm sorry you had such a bad day, I hope today will be better. Call me if there's any problems, okay? Don't think I won't kick your managers ass because I won't hesitate." Bert mumbles before placing more kisses in his neck. Gerard can't fall back asleep so Bert's staying up with him, taking the opportunity to love on him. Something Zach never allowed.

Gerard laughs, running his hand through his long hair. Moaning softly as Bert finds his sweet spot, shivers sending down his arms. "I love you."

"I love you. Thank you for taking care of me recently, I know it's only stressing you out more but I really appreciate it." Bert says, pulling away and looking at him. The dim light of the charger box in the wall giving them just enough light to see each other.

Gerard smiles and sioftly kisses him. "Of course, we take care of each other."

Light is suddenly shined into the dark room when the bedroom door is opoened making Bert quickly pull away. Mikey closes the bedroom door back before getting into bed with them. Woken up by the yells of the guys outside and afraid, sleeping with them makes him feel safer.

Gerard kisses Mikey's forehead, chuckling softly. "It's okay Mikes, get some sleep."