such a softer sin | gerbert

chapter sixty three

Gerard wakes feeling some of his unwashed hair softly moved from his face, back behind his ear. Barely conscious and just waking up, his heart warms as he thinks Bert's back. Considering playing with his hair is something Bert often did when they were in bed.

"Bert?" Gerard mumbles tiredly, opening his eyes in hope. But he's met with Jephs pretty dark brown eyes. Jeph sighs as he sees the heartbreak in the red heads eyes. He just brushes Gerard's messy hair out of his face, sympathetic to what he's going through. Relapsing, whatever's going on with him and Bert. Whatever it is, it's bad, which the shattered lamp and mark in the wall prove.

"No, not Bert. How are you doing Gee?" Jeph asks. Though Gerard just stands, running into the bathroom and getting sick. Following, Jeph holds back his hair. Rubbing his back as he gets sick. Jeph reaches over grabbing the rag on the sink for him. Handing it to Gerard to wipe his mouth as he finishes.

Gerard leans back against the wall of the bathroom, sighing as the guilt of last night sets in. Jeph sits beside him, holding his hand. "You relapsed, and I can only imagine it's due to whatever is going on with you and Bert. Talk to me, I'm here for you."

Gerard lays his head on Jeph's shoulder. "I can't. I wish I could, but I can't."

"That's okay, you don't have to tell me about Bert. But Gerard you've worked so hard to stay sober." Jeph says, rubbing his thumb along the top of Gerard's hand. Comforting him as they talk about a very sensitive topic. Knowing how important it was to Gerard to be able to stay sober for not only himself but for his baby brother too.

"How's Bert? I mean- I-Is he okay?" Gerard asks, lifting his head and looking at Jeph. As angry and hurt he is, he still loves Bert. He knows Bert's struggling, that night it got really bad. He just wants to know thay Bert's okay, safe.

"He's okay, I think. He's been pretty depressed since he came home, we're giving him space. This morning was the first time he's gotten out of bed, he wanted me to come check on you." Jeph says, examining Gerard's expression. Picking up on their more than friendly concern for each other.

Gerard's so angry with him. How could Bert just pack up and leave with no word? They've been best friends for a year now, dating for several months. Yet one thing happens and he just leaves? No talking about it, no explanation. Not even a goodbye. Was he even in it for the long haul?

"I'm fine, I am." Gerard clears his throat before standing off the bathroom floor, rubbing his face at the migrane he's facing. "You should get back, I hear it's going to be storming soon. It's Jersey, roads flood."

Jeph sighs and stands, hugging Gerard tightly. Choosing to leave instead of insisting to stay like he'd usually do. Gerard's hurt, he needs time and space to figure things out. Jeph knows what that's like. "I'm sorry for whatever he did to you. I'll check on you later, take it easy sweetheart. I'm always a call away if you need anything at all."

Jeph leaves the apartment, but not beforr glancing back to the broken and shattered lamp on the ground and bruised wall by the bed. Gerard sighs, sitting back into bed and passing out once again.

• • •

Mikey enters the apartment using his key. He's been gone a week and Gerard hasn't called or texted, he's worried. All he knows is something's wrong, Gerard would never send him off without a reason. Especially not even bothering to call him. It isn't normal. Usually Gerard calls twice a day, one in morning and again at before bed.

Entering the apartment, Mikey sets his bag down. Hearing a cough and seeing Gerard leaned over the sink, tears rolling down the soft skin of his cheeks. Obviously just got done getting sick in the trashcan. Looking an absolute mess. "Gerard wha- what's w-wrong?"

Startled, Gerard wipes his cheeks. Gathering himself a bit, trying to cover up the fact he was just crying. "Mikey what are you doing here? You're supposed to be staying with Pete for a little while."

"I was- was worried. Gee what's wrong? What- Wha- What's going on?" Mikey worries, walking over to him. Despite trying to fight them, tears slip down the red heads cheeks. Mikey quickly hugs his brother. Gerard never cries in front of him, never gets angry or upset around him. Whatever's going on can't be good for all of this.

Mikey rubs his back, leading him over to the couch. He runs his hand through Gerard's hair, giving him a minute to just let it all out. "He left. He packed up and left all because he didn't want to face what he did. I wasn't even mad and he just left." He sobs.

Mikey smells the alcohol that reaks off his brother, sighing. How could Bert do this? He doesn't even need to know what happened between them. Bert left. Left when he was getting Gerard sober. Left when he promised he'd stay, that he'd never hurt them. How could he do this to his brother? Gerard's let him in. Into their home, relationships, life.

"It's okay Gee, it's gonna be al-alright." Mikey comforts his brother, holding him close, letting him cry into his shoulder. He broke Gerard's heart and he thinks that's it? That Mikey's going to let this slide? He's got another thing coming then.

[I'm sorry for the lack in updates and the fact that they're so short, I'm just vv busy and stressed ♡]