Letting Go

Chapter 34

"No she can't see me like this" My Dad says, twisting and turning so I can't see him.

"Sir please. She wants to see you. With your condition you have to be careful of movements." The nurse says, calming him down. I can see my dad is suffering. He was supposed to get discharged today, but when he had a blackout something happened. They say he can't breathe by himself now, and that he's not very stable. Daddy's little girl is now watching him suffer. I can tell he wants off the breathing machine, but is staying alive for us, suffering for us. I wouldn't say I love my dad, because the guy raped me, but I don't just not care he's practically dying. I go up to him and lay my head on his chest.

"It's all gonna be okay.." I whisper to him.

"I don't wanna be here Zoey." He struggles each word, I wanna cry.

"I know Dad, it'll be over soon.." I say, worried he's crying.

I look at his arm. Faded scars. Little scars left. Dad used to cut.. I look at him, and then back at his arm. I study it. "I'm sorry" He cut the words I'm sorry into his arm. I want to ask. I'm curious what this means, and why he did it. I study his arm more. I compare our arms while he dozes off. I wake him up.

"Dad.. Tell me your story." I ask him out of the blue.

"My story hm? Well. When I was a teenager I was raped a lot by my sisters, they're bad, which is why you'll never meet them. I got them both pregnant, I regret letting them do it, I didn't know how to stop it." Seems a lot like me. "I was bullied. I used to cut, horrible to admit. I cheated on your mom, who was my girlfriend back then. I know it sounds stupid and fake that I was raped, but I was. I hated my life and tried to commit suicide. It was hard. But there's your mom, so I better stop talking. I don't usually speak of this, also, I don't really remember much. I can't even remember my name." He finishes, I know his name. Do I make him suffer? No. I can't. I whisper his name before my mom walks in. "Thomas.." I say. He looks at me, "Huh?" He says, obviously not hearing me. "Your name is Thomas." I speak up. Mom walks in. "Thanks for the chat Zoey. I really appreciate you coming down today. It means a lot to me." I smile. I made him happy. "You're welcome dad.. I love you." Out comes the lies. I can't love my rapist.

I go home and play IMVU for a few hours. I go to a chat room. I wait there for someone to talk. I see a user named Troy that joined the group. Then the action started. "Hey babe!" A girl says. That's odd. The guys user is xxtroymatthewxx. It can't be Troy. No. It can't. "Hey!" He says. They did a kissing action. "Holy..." I say as I look in his profile. The location is Ontario, Canada. I start freaking out. I check Troy's Twitter. "Hey guys! I just got an IMVU. Add me! xxtroymatthewxx!" I cry. I sob. I cut.