The mood of this whole week. Hahaha kill me. Also crying has been a mood lol, got to love a super racist Dad am I right?
Like my parents don't want me to admit that my dad is racist but well he is. Oops said it. I ain't gonna lie, my dad has been a dick about my boyfriend not be white but it's lit, my dad will hopefully move out soon
Lol I don't even think my dad cares that he made me cry about all they crap he was saying. Like I thought like my whole life that my dad accepts everyone dang I was wrong.
My dad told me "you know if you have children with your boyfriend ever they aren't going to look anything like you" Then my mom said "we will still love them the same" 💞my mom being a good human. Then my dad brings up his phone and shows me how his friend's children look nothing like the dude cuz his wife is a different race and his friend is white. Like ok. Cool. Like my family know I've told my boyfriend and other people the things my dad says, and like that pisses my dad off. So my smart ass "well I wouldn't have to tell my friend's and boyfriend these things if you weren't racist and saying racist things" Then my dad said "why can't you date the people we like? We like dalton and Robert." Lol Dalton is basically my brother and Robert is just my friend. Then my dad went on to say a bunch of racist stereo types about a race and say just really awful things. And I cried a lot. I just got to say I love my Mom a lot more than my dad
Tbh I wanted to like have my parents and boyfriend like each other ya know be pals. But like my dad is soooooo toxic I wouldn't ever but my boyfriend through that. Unless my dad learns to be a decent human probs won't He is already half way dead. Like you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Like I know my mom is a decent human and at least just makes stupid jokes. Like tbh when people are joking I seriously don't know when they are joking unless it's like painfully obvious. So fun fact my mom isn't racist like my dad. My mom would just prefer I date someone white or Mexican ya know, but she ain't gonna be like my dad and make me cry about it. She just gonna ya know remind me everyday that I should've liked dalton or Robert. Ya know I'm fine with that. I'm actually okay with the crap my mom says cuz I know she is fine with me dating who I am dating, like she accepts it.
Does anyone else just really hate life ever? Like wonder if it's all really worth it. Cuz like my dad lowkey got me feeling guilty about who I am dating but like I really shouldn't feel that way because it not what makes my dad happy but At the same time I want to make my dad happy. I want to make everyone happy and it's just not possible, when so many people want different things that can't go together at all. Oh well lucky my dad has a second daughter maybe she'll date a white boy Also my dad VERY MUCH disagrees with Mormons and he said I rather you be mormon and with a mormon than have kids that aren't white. Hahahahaha it's not like I'm getting pregnant right now or gonna.
Okay but like this got me thinking. Is it worth it? Is this all worth disappointing the only Dad I will ever have? Don't we love an existential crisis? Like idk what to do with my life anymore. lol I wish my dad could just change. Like just be a decent person like HIS STEP MOM IS BLACK AND HE HAS A half BLACK half BROTHER. His nieces are half Asian ARE U KIDDING ME. Like was he yelling at his little sister when she married an Asian guy and had half Asian children? Huh? Ya know I wish my dad would've told me along time ago what kind of people he doesn't like just so I could avoid this situation. Oh well. Like I knew he was chill with the gays and I never heard a racist comment out of his mouth until last month. I really use to think my dad was a cool and chill dude like I legit even told someone he is. Like idk it was put in my mind being gay is the worst thing I could do as a daughter, at least I learned that from church and my mom (she doesn't think now) Bruh I've grown up thinking my dad would be chill with me dating whatever person I wanted. That hurts and sucks that I've been living a lie I made up in my brain
Sorry not sorry about all this venting I just really need to cuz I can't keep all locked up I am too honest of a person about my life not to say anything and me not saying anything just makes me more upset. Like two or three weeks ago I legit thought wow If I lived with my dad I could like not be critized for dating who I'm dating lol ain't I wrong. I love living with my mom even tho she a bit cra and has her moments. Oh well yeet. My mom is no longer the enemy here.
