I am really scared of people dying
I'm terrified of losing the ones I love
I just don't know how I would deal with it
And idk
It bothers me everyday
Also there's this girl named Sam haha Ik Ik
Another Sam
Well I am kind of wishing to fix our friendship and idk man
I'm trying to be good this year not hurting anyone anymore. Just trying to find myself this year
Every time I think I get close I go five steps back in another direction but that's how it's always been.
I'm really trying to lose all these fears I have because they are always in the back of my head.
Lately I have just been hoping for the best and most peaceful future
Other days I don't even see tomorrow
Rn I don't want to grow up but like I also want to meet Sam
And I can't do that until I'm probably done with high school
Idk
I really wish I could see his face I love him so much and I really want to just hug him and never let go.
I'm scared to grow up tho.
I don't know what I want to do
My dad has told my whole family I'm going to try to be the navy band
And idk
I don't really want to be away from a future family for a long amount of time and make them move. :/
Like I really don't know what I want to do for a career.
Nothing interested me much
Like I am not sure if I want to go into a career that requires college.
Because idk if I want to go to college
Idk
I need to know
But I want to have fun for now
