It Had To Be You [CBS#1]

TWENTY EIGHT

Chapter 28: Address

Until now, I still try to contact my mother. I am waiting for her explanation before I resent her. Maybe she only did it for good. Maybe she has reasons why she chose to leave me and my father. Kung natakot siya sa kalagayan ni Matthew, maiintindihan ko siya.

People sometimes make decisions without thinking especially when they are already at the edge of the cliff. Huli na kapag napapagtantong hindi pala iyon ang dapat gawin.

Sometimes, we just really get blinded by our fears. We tend to seek for the best and immediate solutions when everything seems so hard to deal with. It happened to me. I suffer because of my careless actions... so I don't have the right to hate my mother. It would be very embarrassing to hold grudges for her when I, myself, did also something unforgivable.

I miss Matthew. I want to know his current state. I am so worried about his health. I know very well that he is in good hands since he is with my mom. But it is still different when you can directly get updates from them. Gusto kong si Mama mismo ang magpanatag sa aking ayos lang sila ni Matthew. Na wala na dapat akong ipag-alala sa kalusugan ng kapatid ko.

Nasapo ko ang noo sa kinakaharap na problema ngayon. Ang daming kailangang isipin, isama pa ang bigat sa damdamin ko. I have to seek for a job to afford Papa's medicine. Hindi rin naman puweding iasa ko na lang ang lahat kay Uncle Agustin. I want to at least shoulder my father's expenses although some generous people are willingly helping us.

My chest was overflowing with worries, pain, and burdens. I didn't know which should I treat first. Nakakapagod nang dalhin ang mga 'to nang ilang taon. Gusto ko na sanang mabawasan ang lahat ng 'to. I should make a step to finally free myself from the dark phase of my life. The first stage could be... settling my misunderstanding with Eadselle. Hindi ko na hinihinging maging parte ulit ako ng buhay niya. It would be a big deal to me once he assured me that I am already forgiven.

Maybe after that, I would already manage to move on and start anew. Kagaya ng nakikita ko sa kanya ngayon, mukhang ayos na namang wala ako sa buhay niya. Obviously, his feelings for me were long gone.

Pinagmasdan ko siyang nag-aayos ng kanyang wrangler. Bukas ang hood sa unahan habang may kung anong kinakalikot siya roon.

I didn't want to come here after that embarrassing moment with him. Kaso hindi ko natanggihan si Auntie nang utusan niya akong kumuha ulit ng supply sa mga Sellozzo. Hindi ako pinagdala ng motor kaya naman problema ko kung paano makakauwi mamaya.

Eadselle did not throw me a single glance. Mukhang seryuso talaga ang sira ng sasakyang iyon. Hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa kanya nang makita kong paparating na ang truck.

"Ilan po ang order, Ma'am?" salubong kaagad sa akin ng asawa ni Mang Chuchu.

I handed her the long paper as she read it silently. Kalaunan ay tinimbang niya ang bagong harvest na mga mani. Natuyo na ang lupang nakakapit doon kaya naman sinubukan ko nang tumulong.

"Ay, ako na, hija!" she instantly hindered me.

I chuckled and showed her my hand. "Nahawakan ko na naman po kaya ayos lang. Gusto ko rin pong may ginagawa." paliwanag ko na tinanguan niya naman.

"Naku! Si Hope, nag-aantay lang sa'min kapag um-order siya." sabi nito.

Hindi na lang ako sumagot. Ipinagpatuloy ko ang paglalagay ng mani sa timbangan nang may malalim na boses ang pumukaw sa amin.