blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 41 - the morning after

Parker and I fell out hours ago. I had to carry him to and from the shower and just about everywhere else after we fucked. No, had sex. No, made love? I don't know. That's besides the point, poor dude could barely walk.

I smirk at the thought.

It's about half an hour till daylight and here I am lying in bed with the most angelic human I've ever known, both physically and mentally. I have never had sex like that. It's never been about anything more than a good fuck. But. . . but with Parker it was so much more than that.

I wanted so badly to have Parker know that he was mine. And at the same time I wanted him to see just how beautiful he is. From his big blue eyes to his tiny waist to his tiny, beautiful feet. I have never been this attracted to a boy. . . fuck, to anyone before. The way his swollen, plump lips wrapped around me keeps replaying in my head.

God, he's so beautiful.

Looking down, at the sleeping boy lying on my chest I smile as his light snores tickle me slightly.

I take a finger and twist it about through his hair while I think of what this is.

I mean I'm obviously attracted to Parker, but it seems that it's only him.

At the Gala, there were a thousand and one eligible. . . let's say bachelors, and I do admit, some of the men were undeniably handsome, but that's as far as I'd take it. The thought of being with them in any other way disgusts me.

And I still like women.

Straight, but Parker-sexual?

I don't know.

It doesn't matter.

All that matters is that I love this boy.

Slowly but efficiently I unwrap Park's arms from around my waist, climb out of bed, and begin to sweep up the goldfish mess we had made moments before.

Looking up from sweeping, I glance in the mirror and see that I am smiling. I swear I look so different.

It reminds me of when times were simpler.

Looking back at Park, I notice that he's changed positions and is now lying on his stomach. I continue to sweep up our mess and grow excited at how amazing this is. The goldfish are reluctant against the carpeted floor. It takes several irritating brushes before I can get them all in a pile. Normally, I wouldn't give a fuck about cleaning after myself in a hotel room, but I'd rather do it than the sore angel cuddled up where I just was. I've come to realize that that's just what Park does. He brings the best out of everyone around him; even twisted, bastards like myself. I can't hurt him again. No, I won't hurt him again.

Groaning, I dial for room service after I've cleaned and order a basic breakfast: pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, fruit, yogurt, and orange juice.

After a while I hear room service at the door and slip on my briefs from last night.

"Morning," I say answering the door. A rather small, blonde chick opens the door with a cart of food.

After clearing her throat, caught staring too long, she reads the list of food slowly as she sets down everything.

I think I hear rustling behind me, but ignore it. Just Park moving around in his sleep probably. The food smells delicious and the girl has to repeat herself to get my attention.

"Yea, sorry?"

"You're fine, handsome. There anything else I can get you?" she asks pushing her breast out of her too tight button up.

Scrunching my eyebrows, I simply sigh.

"Get out."

Is all I say leaving the girl embarrassed and scurrying out of the room.

Only then do I hear the sound of small sniffles and Park clearing his nose. Alert, I rush to his side confused and comfort him.

"What's wrong, baby?" I question worried.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. . . it's just I'm, I-I don't know," he says, crying louder and I kiss his tear stained cheeks, ushering him to quiet down. What the fuck happened? Is he upset because of the blonde chick?

"I just- I feel so useless to you. I mean you've been with so many girls and I'm sure that they are much more experienced than me. I just fe-," he says choking up and I just stare him.

Not once did I ever consider how insecure my sexual experience could make him.

I sit thinking for a moment then I open my mouth.

"I lost my virginity at a pretty young age," I start, wiping away his tears.

"It wasn't consensual. The woman who did it, I used to babysit for her. One evening she got home earlier than expected and just kept telling me that it'll all be over soon."

"I mean what was I to say? That I was raped by a beautiful, older woman?" I say scoffing at the irony.

I keep my eyes closed as I tell the story. Afraid to open them. Clearing my throat, I continue.

"I kept going back to her. Having meaningless sex. Trying to make myself feel like more of a man. Angered by how defenseless she made me feel," I continue opening my eyes to see Park staring intently at me.

"After that. Things were never the same. I had sex all the time. Trying to take back what was stolen from me. Not a single one of the girls a virgin," I say, thinking of some of the girls I've been with. None of them could ever compare.

"And then I met you. This pixie-like imp who could irritate the shit out of me," I speak, chuckling after receiving a light punch to my arm.

"But who could also make me the happiest I've been in a long time," I say causing his eyes to grow wide.

"Last night was probably the best night of my life. Not only because I spent it with you and you shared something so innocent with me, but because you gave me back a part of my innocence too."

A pair of pink, plump, bow-shaped lips touch mine softly and I lean into the kiss loving his scent.

Wrapping my hand around his head, I deepen the kiss and slip my tongue into his mouth. Pulling away I bite his lip, teasing him, causing him to wimpier.

"Let's eat, baby."