blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 84 - full circle

"Parker, come on! Talk to me, please," he begs, forcing his way passed the door I try to shut on him.

"Talk to you, Harry? I can hardly even bare to be in the same room as you right now!"

My head is spinning uncontrollably. I feel numb and I feel cheated. I can't get the smirk he had being with Amy out of my head. Flashes of our recorded intimacy just keep replaying in my head; it's like I'm existing in this broken state of limbo. Feeling lightheaded, I steady myself on the living room couch before I pass out. Everything is moving at a pace that my mind is finding trouble keeping up with. I just need one second alone to process. . . this- this can't be happening to me. I was so careful.

What did I miss?

Harry promised he'd never hurt me; he promised! He promised to protect me and he broke it not too soon after. Suddenly, all of the air previously held by my lungs is sucked out of me with one exhale. I think that I'm having a panic attack. It literally pains me to breathe right now. Then, stepping into the foyer, Harry places his hands on me worriedly, but I ca- h- he did this!

"No! Don't touch me!" I shout, my voice cracking from the intensity.

"Pa-Parker, it was a mistake. I made a mistake!"

"A mistake, Harry? You're unbelievable. Mispelling your name is a mistake. Buying the wrong glass of milk is a mistake!"

My hands are in my hair pulling relentlessly in all directions. Everything about him right now makes me just want to scream. I feel disgusted with myself. I can't even think passed the words that are on the forefront of my mind; I can't even process the last fifteen minutes.

"Th- this is inhumane!"

"Harry, you recorded us engaging in something that's supposed to be intimate. I shared a part of myself for you that I was saving for someone who actually loved me."

My head hurts from the influx of terrible information. He doesn't say anything in response. He doesn't even look like the Harry I love right now; he looks like a monster.

"You know what? I want you to leave. Get out of here. I don't know why you followed me home. Get out now!" I yell, walking towards the front door to open it for him. The dark of the night is invited in instantly. It's chilly outside. I almost regret the bold action.

"No, Parker, no! I want to stay. I want to talk through this!"

Rather than advancing towards the door, he moves back deeper into the living room taking ground. Unbelievable. Fine.

Slamming the door shut, I walk until I'm only a few feet away from him, my hands crossed in front of me.

"Okay," I begin.

"Alright,"

"How much did you make? How many producers did you send that to?"

"What?" he starts, bringing his eyebrows together.

It amazes me of how he thinks that he can still get away with this! The dumb look on his face just makes me want to slap him. . . hard.

"For the video. Who'd you sell it to?"

"What the fuck, Parker! What are you talking about? I didn't sell the video. You're fucking insane," he begins, trying to make me feel like I'm the crazy one. Even after all that he's done he's still trying to make me feel like the lesser.

"Well, then, how was she?" I shout, my voice breaking.

"Wh-what?" he stutters, making me angry. I've never been so infuriated with someone in my life. It takes everything in me not t-