blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 9

I've always been one to overly invest myself in any given situation. Whether it be personal or communal I will no doubt give my all to the task at hand. Harry has been my recent task. He's just so different. I can't understand him at times.

For instance, all of the other guys on campus wouldn't ever ask me out on a date. Or whatever that was. People just don't know me as the type to put myself out there. I'm not wired for that.

But then again, Harry's first memory of me stems from that night.

Last time I had even a budding relationship with anyone my dad mortified the poor sap and ever since then no one has tried to date me. To this day, I am unbeknownst as to what my dad did to him.

When I'm with Harry I don't have to think. I'm a completely different person when I'm with him. He shines light on a side of me I never knew existed; makes me feel things I've never felt before. His simple touch ignites a burn within me that keeps me yearning for the time being. The way my body reacts to everything he does is sinful. I've never felt myself drawn to someone so different. Someone not afraid to be different.

But what thrills me the most is the way he looks at me. As if I am the one so different and interesting! And maybe I am in his eyes. I don't know. When he looks at me I experience a confidence that before him was as foreign as a desolate tongue reaching new lands. He makes me feel all of these things and yet somehow I feel nothing. I simply love how human he is.

And this terrifies me.

Due to yesterday's rendezvous with Harry, I had to, sadly, reschedule my meeting with the environmentalists club to today. They were understanding and revealed that they were only concerned - because it has never happened before - regardless of the very little information I gave out.

I gather my papers and make my way to stand before the podium stationed in the center of Ricketts Glen park. Our small club is tiny enough that it doesn't draw on much attention from any bystanders.

"Hi, everyone. I'd like to thank you all for being here today, in spite of plans being made for yesterday. Again, I am very sorry. Let's begin. Pollution. For many, pollution never once crosses their minds until the damage is done. For others, pollution can be seen before it is even conceived. Humans see pollution. We create pollution. We can prevent pollution. In the wise words of Evo Morales, 'Sooner or later, we will have to recognize that the Earth has rights, too, to live without pollution. What mankind must know is that human beings cannot live without Mother Earth, but she can live without us.' This is a mindset th-,"

After hours of trying to raise awareness of the current pollution problems in the world, we make plans to meet up again in two Saturdays.

I send Kate a text, letting her know that I'm ready to be picked up and wave goodbye to the remainder of my friends. The sun is undeniably present today - despite today's forecast stating otherwise - and I'm now feeling its effects in a sweater and jeans. I find the nearest tree and relish in its shade. One more reason to save the trees!

The day is beautiful, of course; I can't deny that. Children running around, kites in hand. Entire families even seizing the day for a nice picnic in a park! Everything is pristine: the trees, their branches swaying in the gentle wind, the ground, free of debris, and the air smells fresh.

I'm so compelled by nature's beauty, I don't even hear the sound of Kate's cherry red SUV pulling into the parking lot.

"Parker! Over here!"

THE RIDE HOME is relaxing and I thank Kate for not pressuring me to keep up conversation.

And I thank her again for not bringing up my night with Harry, unlike Alex this morning. For some reason, he was extremely mad to find out I had been hanging out with the curly-haired boy. It's beyond me. I wish to keep my night with Harry a secret. A memory stored in the back of my mind. It was all well until I came across that picture of him and his girlfriend. He confuses me. One second it seems like he is earnestly interested in me and another feels like he sees me as only a friend. Although the latter is not ideal, it wouldn't hurt as much if he would just address whatever it is we have.

I shake my head of everything Harry as we pull into the driveway.

"I was thinking maybe we could all just hangout tonight rather than doing schoolwork."

"Um. . . why?"

Kate, my genetically engineered counterpart in intelligence, wasting a day to play. I had figured she'd want to stick with the norm and get ahead a couple of days or a week in our studies.

My words sound weak and choppy as I try to let her down easily.

I have never been good at saying no to her. Well, quite honestly, to anyone. It's just not a word I grew up hearing.

And I don't mean that in a snobby, 'I get whatever I want kind of way'. I mean that as, 'never take no as an answer, so long as you're never willing to give it', or 'no is the worsened form of never', or something like that.

"I don't know. I really don't want to break habit."

It wasn't no.

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"I'll even help you catch up," she prompts.

"Fine," I give in. This better be worth it.

NINE SODAS AND TWO empty boxes of pizzas later, and the night is coming to an end. The night was well spent, surprisingly. I was expecting to complain and regret the entire ordeal. However, I found myself genuinely having fun. There was even a time when Kate and Alex were truly getting along. Buzzed from our sugar high, lying on the couch watching television, the three of us are spent!

Again to my surprise, Kate is tied to Alex's other hand while I am to his left. I can tell he is trying his hardest to watch the movie, but the colder it gets in the room the closer Kate and I get to him.

Our living room has underwent a teensy renovation since she's has moved in. The once solid, pearl walls scattered with pictures of only two families now have three. There is a lot more art: Da Vinci, Tom Moore, Michael Angelo, and more. Basically if there wasn't a girly presence before, there is sure one now.

"I'm going to bed," I declare.

"Me too."

Alex groans, prying off Kate's arms only to wrap them around his neck for an easier grip.

In one swift motion, he has an unconscious Kate in both arms - princess style.

My eyebrows scrunch together at the action, but I brush it off as only a kind gesture.

"Let's go, love," Alex says, hand pushing my lower back in the direction of mine and Kate's respective rooms.

"Don't say that." The name reminds me of Harry's raspy laugh and I wince at the memory. He chuckles lowly behind me, but doesn't say another word as he carries Kate to her room.

I enter my own room and head straight to my diary.

2 May

It's been precisely one day since I've last seen Harry and I feel stripped. Like something that belonged to only me was taken away. This is absolutely insane. He has so much control over my emotions and yet I've known him for a blink of an eye. I can't help but want to be near him. He's so alluringly intoxicating. I'm mental for having such an attachment to him. I have no excuse for this other than that I'm inexperienced. I'm socially awkward? I don't know how to feel.