blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 99

A lot has taken place over the course of the last two days. First things first, a week until the first day of classes has officially passed. We've left our humble abode in one of the cheaper hotels in Darby. And we left Darby. Harry reluctantly agreed to come back to Philadelphia after valid negotiation. I needed to get Nolan into a more stable, clean environment. He may be a very resilient baby, but he's still a baby. A baby that for the last month and a half has had terrible, minimal care. With that being said, babies are expensive. Not including the rental truck Harry had to purchase for us to make it back, we've altogether spent a little over five thousand just on Nolan alone. Diapers, wipes, seats, clothes, insulated bottle holders, toiletries, blankets, nursery items, on the go items. If you can name it, odds are we have it. I promised the tall boy that with the help of my parents we'd be able to care for the small baby. Of course, this was only a lie. A lie that I had no choice but to utter. The truth is that I had to pull from the my savings account and some of next semester's tuition to afford Nolan's necessities. Completing college now feels like a distant memory. I still have hope that somehow we'll figure something out for this upcoming semester. I don't just want to throw away all that I have worked for, but it seems as if that's what I'm doing. My parents would probably denounce me or something if they knew about any of this. It's crazy how things work out. At any other time, I know that my mom and dad would've taken the baby in without hesitation. If I can recall correctly, they're chances at conception have always been low. But now, now that they have twins on the way I'm just not sure they'd do with Nolan. Adoption agencies take over my mind at the thought. Harry's still not accepting of the small baby. If anything, he's distanced himself even further from the boy. It hurts my heart. This new life has been anything but easy. There's so much involved in properly taking care of a child. I've contacted several necessary companies regarding Nolan's safety.

I've scheduled him a plethora of appointments over the next couple of days to ensure that he is as healthy as he is on the outside on the inside. Luckily, in my search, I came across a baby proofing service that does special home proofing for you. This proved to be most difficult for me, because of a reason separate from understanding the service. At first, the green-eyed man refused to take care of the baby. He honestly still refuses. Of course, the thought of the baby living with me came across. I mean, I already knew I'd have to be the one to take care of him. I just figured that he'd stay the night with his uncle or something. I don't know. Skip passed a few heated arguments and we get to the part where I agree to move into Harry's flat.

It's all actually really funny honestly. I've always lived a fast life. Skipping grades, homecoming, prom, an early start in college. I should be more startled by the suddenness of this all, but it honestly just feels like another quick milestone in my life. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm not worried either. I'm a strong believer in the belief that everything works out for the best despite the few times my mind is taken over with uncertainties.

Currently, we are waiting patiently (well, I am) in the car for the baby proofing service to finish up with Harry's small apartment. Nolan has become weirdly more active for such a new baby since arriving in Philadelphia. Maybe he can also feel things changing for the better. His small, stubby hands are constantly finding their way on the edges of my mouth as my eyes flicker from the impatient man to the small boy. I've no idea if Harry's contempt for the child will let up. It's starting to affect our own relationship. Due to Nolan being only a newborn, all of my attention has been with him. And Harry wants nothing to do with him. In the last two days, we've exchanged only a handful of pleasant words.

"Mr. Drue, your apartment is baby-safe and ready for you to move in," a heavyset guy appears out of nowhere frightening me from the opposite side of the half-rolled down window.

"Oh, erm, um, it-," I stutter before Harry interjects from the driver seat.

"Thank you. You can bill us through my account," he utters uninterested, reading off his bank information.

Covering the baby's fragile face lightly with his brand new blanket, I open the truck door and toss his baby bag over my shoulder. I raise the pitch of my voice to talk to the baby involuntarily, causing Harry to roll his eyes. He takes out a cigarette and a lighter walking off to the corner side of his apartment building. It takes everything within me to not comment on the action. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than aware that he is his own person and that he's able to do whatever he wants. With that being said, if he thinks that he's doing that inside our flat with Nolan living here, he is out of his mind. I can only tolerate so much. Again, I hate the flight of stairs that lead up to his flat. They are so poorly constructed. It never really bothered me before, but things are much different now. My senses for danger are at an all new high. If humanly possible, I've become able to detect toxicity everywhere. Like a "spider sense".

"Welcome to your new home, little baby," I coo softly, bringing his forehead up to meet my lips.