blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 103

"He really loves the sound of your voice," I start, as I walk into a room with a smiling baby trying to hold himself up on Harry's shirtless chest.

"Yea, he does, doesn't he?" the curly haired man speaks up grinning at the small boy.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with your accent. I'm sure that Gemma spoke to him in the voice her entire pregnancy. It'd make sense for him to gravitate towards it."

Humming a response, he continues to tease Nolan sticking his tongue out randomly. For anyone who doesn't believe in miracles, let this be a testament to naysayers all around. Smiling, I fold Harry's freshly washed clothes placing them in his section of the large closet. It feels so nice to have all of my clothes here. Somehow all of the events that have taken place are not that intimidating to me. Other than not being able to predict my future, I'm somewhat okay with the turn of events. The life that I've grown to know feels paused: college, friends, the world of academia. Sure, I'm still very much involved with all of that - with the exception of hanging out with my friends -, but none of it seems more important than these two boys here.

At the same time, it feels stupid to be a "parent" to a child at the age of nineteen. Sure, a lot of my old high school friends were having children long before, but this defies everything I was raised to believe in. I just know that my parents are going to flip once they find out about this, if they do. My mind instantly flashes to the holidays. Like every year since my departure from home, they'll be expecting me. In the past, my biggest concern revolved around my father's distaste for Nolan's doppelgänger. Now, well now, I wish that was still the epitome of my worries.

Harold.

His change is always so quick. I've picked up on a few patterns in his existence. Smoking, drinking, cursing, fighting, regret, happiness. It's like this never ending cycle of his inner growth. I'm happy that he's growing at all! But don't get me wrong, when he's in the darker phases of the cycle he's not the most constructive person. The incident back in Darby forces it's way to the forefront of my mind. I know that what he did was wrong. Though I didn't tell him to stop or anything, he still hurt me without concern for my safety. I have every right to that. To feeling safe and loved when having sex. I want to confront him about it still, but the longer I sit thinking about it the longer my vision of the incident feels distant. He's so much better.

Am I stupid for this?

Friends.

I know that they have to be worried about me, or at least I thought they were. After my accident, my phone broke due to impact. Even though I remember it being in perfect condition before a hospital nurse took it away from me, Harry's made it abundantly clear that it was unusable. I still don't really remember much from the night, and for all I know, I could be imagining it another way. I'm unsure. Regardless, thanks to Harry, I know that their worries are settled. When he went to pick up the rest of my clothes he notified Kate and Alex of my new situation. Apparently, they didn't take it too well and are having trouble wrapping their heads around the situation. I don't really blame them. I've heard countless stories where friends become old friends when the presence of a baby comes into play. If I'm being honest, I'm glad that they are keeping their distance in a way. I'm terrified of the status of our relationship when I do see them. Hopefully, nothing too drastic will change and I'll have time for them. Additionally, I'm grateful for the time away. I want to make sure that I've balanced Nolan and a social life before introducing him. All of this stands for my relationships with the fraternity peeps as well.

"Hey, baby, can you hold the baby?" he inquires, smirking at his own words.

"I have to piss."

"Harold!" I scold redundantly. It's not like Nolan understands his potty mouth at this age. I just don't like the idea of cursing around him.

"I mean, I have to take a pee pee with my wee wee."

"Okay," I start, ignoring his. . . whatever that is. Nolan is most definitely at a better weight. He's so much more heavier in my arms now.

"But hurry, please. I want us to do some of the bonding activities I found online. They're supposed to really ensure th-,"

"Yea, yea, you can explain it to me when I'm done. I'll try to be quick," he rushes me, kissing me on my cheek before running to the restroom.

"Ooh-ooh," Nolan gurgles incoherently with a smile. Only recently has he started to try to mimic sounds he hears with weird vowels. Though he still finds my voice to be rather funny he's much more attracted to Harry's natural accent. Ever since I've encouraged him to embrace his natural tongue, Nolan has been a vocal machine. It's quite funny to watch his face contort into different expressions as he tries to figure out speech; he can turn any boring situation into a fit of tumultuous laughter from the tall boy and I.

"Hey there, little dude," Harry starts as he walks out of the restroom with a white towel to dry his hands.

"You want to come back to uncle Harry?"

He grabs the baby from my hands, tickling his fat belly before speaking to me.

"I've been thinking lately,"

"What should he call us? I don't really want him to refer to me as an uncle if I'm the one taking care of him. Like, is it okay for him to call us his daddies," he continues, slightly distracted by the mesmerized baby. His world literally pauses when he hears Harry's velvety voice. I know the feeling, little one.

"I'm okay with whatever you find comfortable. I think that at this point it's safe to say that his actual parents are out of the picture, sadly. I'd hate for him to grow up without a proper parent-child experience. If you're okay with it, I'd be honored to be one of his daddies."

Kissing me on top of my head, he starts out of the door with his large hand covering the back of Nolan's small head for support.

"I'm okay with that,"

"We'll have to find another name for you. I'm the only daddy around here."

His words are cocky, but his face when Nolan coos at him surpasses all. I'm glad he's come to fall in love with the happy baby; he's come so far.