blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 61

"This is one of the many types of initiation ceremonies new brothers choose from to be a part of Psi," Halle begins whispering into my ear as two younger boys get their knuckles wrapped in boxing tape.

"It's one of the more. . . illegal ones that we do, so we have to find someplace secluded and far off from society to conduct it. Hint the location," she continues informing me. Something about the way she says illegal makes me feel wrong, making me second guess my coming here.

Before she has time to continue Jax takes a seat on the other side of the log next to me his eyes shining with a look that's incomprehensible to me.

"I was hoping we didn't scare you off," he begins smiling a perfect lined smile.

"Things are just about to get good."

"Can't you guys get arrested for this?" I question causing the two to look at me cautiously before Jax speaks up.

"Yes," he says slowly, thinking.

"But that's what makes it exciting! The thrill of engaging in something that's frowned upon."

"I don't expect you to agree with it, Parker," he continues, capturing my attention.

"If anything, I expected to have you running away from here the second you showed up to report us to the dean or something," he chuckles, apologizing for his assumption right after.

"No offense," he repeats as if I didn't here him the first time.

"So, then why invite me here?" I ask in a way that's a lot more calmer than I expect myself to come off.

"Easy. To get to know you," he smiles.

"I find you rather. . . interesting," his voice is light as he searches for the word.

"I can see why Harry finds you intriguing. You're so different from any one of us. . . as I'm sure you are aware," he jokes, smiling.

I blush shading red as he brings up the one insecurity that's been on the forefront of my mind since I've been here.

This causes him to laugh loud enough to draw attention from several onlookers surrounding the two fighters, Amy included.

Without much thought I ask, "Is it true that she had a thing with Harry?"

He follows my gaze until his eyes land on Amy looking directly at us before she ducks her head embarrassed probably.

"Harry's had many flings, if you will," Jax starts without hesitation.

"He's been with almost every girl in our sister sorority, but his relationship with Amy was different. She was there when things were bad," he continues and the information shocks me completely.

Images of Harry having sex with different girls flood my brain before I'm forced to pay attention.

"At one point I was for sure that he loved her. They were going strong for a year or two and it was honestly the closest thing to a relationship I had ever seen him accept. Of course, he still fucked other women, but so did Amy," he stops chuckling to himself.

"With other men," he adds as soon as he hears it.

"Would you believe that Amy was once like you?" he questions referring to my 'clean look', which causes me to gasp silently.

I look over at her tattoos and piercings until she looks at me glaring.

Is she this way because of Harry?

"Anyways, like I said, she was the closest to him and if you had asked any one of us," he starts gesturing to himself, Niall, Derek, and a couple of other boys I don't know.

"We'd all pretty much agree that they were together. Harry denies it all the time, which is understandable, because. . . well, he was still fucking Alpha Chi Omega," I jerk at his language once again and he mutters a small 'sorry', but continues the story regardless.

"Then, he just stopped showing up. Stopped hanging out with us. He ended up making a long awaited appearance at Mark's party after his hiatus. He was different, but still Harry. I don't know how to explain it. We ended up hanging out for the better part of the night, swapping old stories. Then, he left with you. That's when I had first met you - right before, of course. I'm sure you don't remember it," he says smiling at me when he says 'you'.

My memory of the night still escapes me. I haven't really tried to focus on it too much. It just gives me a headache. I feel bad for not remembering him.

"I was the one that actually wanted to get to know you," he says still smiling, but this time his voice carries another emotion other than cheerfulness. I don't know how to describe it.

I don't even notice the two guys punching the crap out of each other until Jax pauses the story to take a drink from his water bottle. He offers me a drink and I decline politely taken back by his declaration before he speaks again.

"I was so sure that Harry would push you away I backed off," he breathes remorsefully.

"What makes you say that?" I ask winded by his assumption.

He lowly chuckles before he speaks," Well, Harry was never really the biggest fan of you. He hated you once upon a time."

I wince at the intensity of his word choice, but ignore the slight hurt that courses through me.

I mean, sure Harry was not the kindest when we first met-

"And for the weeks following after," my subconscious interjects.

But I never thought he hated me. He was never that rude. Why would he continue to see me if he hated me? What was his motive? After taking a final swig from his now empty water bottle, Jax continues tossing the bottle behind him and I flinch inwardly.

I'll worry about saving the ecosystem later.

"I remember having to beg him to make sure you returned home safely - I was too busy dealing with other's to help out. Anyways, after a promise to be welcomed back into Psi he agreed reluctantly. I'm surprised he's grown to like you it seems. He once told the rest of us that he'd surely ruin you if he ever got the chance. But it seems like things have changed since then, he's much more hesitant now," Jax speaks seeming lost as he stares at the ground.