blue (book one) - h.s. ✔️ watty's 2019

chapter 88

"Let's leave for a little while," Harry starts as we pull out of the hospital parking lot. The cold, New England day is unsettling, weirdly. The skies are clear and there's not a sign of precipitation in sight, but I can't help the wave of light depression that crashes over me on this gloomy afternoon. It's actually interesting to be honest. Lately, my mood has been highly influenced by the weather. I haven't voiced much concern about it, but it has been noticeable enough for even Harry to pick up on the swift changes. He's made a joke or two out of the situation saying that it's probably because a part of him is now always inside of me: literally. Believe it or not, but I've grown used to his and Alex's inappropruate jokes.

I was released this morning from the hospital with the promise that I'd take my medicine consistently, and take things easier. I thank God for helping me to avoid the worst. My parents ended up showing the day after I was admitted, scaring both Harry and I. As usual, my dad was unnecessarily cold to the tall boy, blatantly accusing him of the entire ordeal. It irritates me how he treats him. No matter what he says or does, Harry will forever remain a part of my life. This is just something that he can't seem to grasp. On the brighter side, after telling the both of them about the kind, older man involved in the collision and how supportive and understanding he was of me, they cleared his medical debt for him. The look on his renewed face brought me an ethereal happiness. Luckily, they also offered to buy Kate a new car due to the severe damages I brought to her Honda. I'm sure she'll be elated. They left just yesterday, claiming that their schedules in the coming week were taking a drastic turn for the worse. I could only sympathize with the two.

"We are. We're only half a mile away from home," I say matter-of-factly, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. Harry has been uncharasteristically odd lately. I'm not sure if it has to do with the argument we had regarding his additive habits or my car collision, but he's been somewhat off. He's informed me of the small, significant details leading up to the wreck. Apparently, we had gotten into a heated argument about his drinking and smoking habits. I mean, it makes sense. On the first day of my stay in the hospital, he showed up half-drunk. His lack of concern for his well-being and the well-being of others has become a nuisance to me. If he doesn't try harder to fix himself, he will surely end up broken and unfixable.

"No, baby," he starts softly, making my heart flutter at the nickname I've heard a million times now. I don't know why, but somehow it feels different, again, needy.

"Let's go somewhere else. I want to be alone. . . with you."

I look over at his face to channel his emotion: sincerity. Our eyes lock for a split second before he directs his attention back to the road. He has his window down slightly, causing his now longer hair to dance about wildly. It's hard for me to choose between his long hair and short hair. He honestly looks stunning in anything. 

"Sure, I just need to pick up a few things from my place, and then we can head over to your flat."

"No, blue," he speaks in a softer tone, grabbing my hand in his as we come to a stoplight. The tone of his voice surprises me. It's so. . . melancholy and somehow distant. His rough, long fingers glide over the top of my skin several times before he continues.

"I want to leave Pennsylvania for a bit. Just until school starts back in two weeks. Let's go to New York. I haven't been in years."

"Wh-what?" We just spent our entire summer in foreign places. We've literally traveled around the world. How could he possibly want to leave again?

"Let's go now. We don't need to pack anything. We can just leave and worry about the rest later." He sounds much more rushed now. I can't fathom his incredible spontaneity. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with him. Notwithstanding our funds being near nonexistent, I'm not too entirely opposed to the idea of a small vacation. Thanks to Jax's kind heart I have finished everything I wanted to get done before the start of classes. However, just at the beginning of this week, I was in a car wreck. Anyways, I'm still extremely sore from impact.

"Harry, slow down. I haven't even properly healed yet. I'm not like you," I say referring to his small act in Florida.

"That's fine, baby. I'll protect you."

"I don't need protection, Harold," I start, scoffing loudly.

"I am more than capable of helping myself."

His sorrow face shifts into a smirk that I'm all too familiar with. Despite the arrogance that radiates from his expression, it feels nice to see him like this. He'll never know, but I secretly love when he's too full of himself. It shows me that in spite of the hate he receives from so many others and himself, he's also aware of how great he is.

"I want to protect you."

"If we did leave for a bit, where would we go?" I start, ignoring his claim. In complete contrast to my outward hesitance, my stomach is fluttering with butterflies. The thought of being alone with Harry, traveling again makes me unrealistically happy. I could never be so spontaneous to suggest such a thing so close to the start of an academic year, but he is. Just another one of the many reasons why I'm so smitten over the tall boy. He pushes me past my own expectations of reality and is constantly challenging my own inner desires - whether he is aware or not.

"We don't have to leave Pennsylvania," he begins contradicting himself, slowing down the car to let crosswalkers by.

"I want to take you to my home."

What?

"Harry, you sai-,"

"In Darby."