The Class Clown- Thorki Fanfic

Chapter 39

When we get home, I walk into my room and lock the door. The thought of snorting that gram the whole ride home.

Instantly, I pull the Horse out of my pocket and toss it on the trunk at the bottom of the bed. My sight doesn't slip from that bag as I pace back and forth at the bottom of my bed.

My skin itches and burns. I feel manic as I chew my nails. The one crutch I use to pace, hurt my under arm, but it doesn't bother me much.

Finally, I cave and dive for the gram. As soon as I take hold of it, there's a knock on the door "Loki?" Thor asks and I rock on the edge of the trunk "Loki, are you alright?"

I take a moment, before declaring "I'm fine Thor... I just..." I sigh and call out "I need to be alone."

There's silence for a moment, before he asks "Loki, can you please, just... open the door, please?"

My mouth is so painfully dry, that I can't force myself to speak. He sighs on the opposite side of the door "Babe, please open the door!"

Hesitantly, I stuff the gram in my jacket and hobble over to the door. When I open it, Thor gives a weak smile "There you are!"

I press my lips into a fine line and block him from entering "What do you want?" I ask with a hint of hostility.

He gives a concerned look "Are you alright, babe?"

I furrow my brow at him and ask "You know that I killed someone, yesterday, right?" I angerly scoff at him "Not just someone, okay? He was my rock in rehab, Thor!"

He gives a gobsmacked look, before studdering out "I-i didn't mean to..." he shakes his head and sighs "I'm sorry, Loki, it's just-" he sets his jaw and declares "I'm sorry."

I shake my head with a set jaw "There's nothing you could have done." he gives a confused look and I shrug "I just need to be alone."

He sighs "Loki, I'm supposed to be here to work through this with you, okay?" He rolls his finger and explains "Ya know, because that what people, who are in a relationship, do, okay?"

I furrow my brow and hiss "Go fuck yourself, Thor!" he gocks and I scream "You are about two intelligence quotient point away from taking the short bus to school!"

"Oh, yeah?" he screams, before giving a confused look "Jokes on you, I don't know what that is! Intelligent quote? What is that?"

"Intelligence quotient!" I correct, before shaking my head "IQ, dumb arse!" he gives an embarrassed look and I gock "What did your mother drop you on your fucking head? Is that why you're that fucking moronic?"

"You're an emotionless bitch!" Thor screams and I scoff at his stupidity "You know, I've tried to be there for you, emotionally! But you can fucking open up like a regular human being!"

I set my jaw and he scoffs "You know what, never mind. Go fuck yourself."

He turns to walk away, before I call after him "Thor?" he stops and takes a deep breath, before turning back with a pissy look on his face.

The thought of my pending relapse settles in my mind and I except it. With a calm mind, I step out of the room and hug him.

He takes a moment, before hugging me back. We stand in silence for what feels like forever, but neither of us object.

When I pull away, he places his hand on my cheek and places a kiss on my lips. As I pull away, I whisper "Never doubt that I love you."

Silently, I slip back into my room lock the door. As soon as it's locked, I turn to the bathroom and dump the smack on the marble vanity.

Hastily, I shuffle through my cabinets and pull out my eyebrow shaper. As I chop the H to create snorting lines.

I'm just about to snort the first line, when I notice the dried blood on the blade. The blood is from when I sliced my hand.

A sob escapes my lips as I straighten up and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look almost like a rabid dog, search for something to sink its teeth into.

I've never, in my life, been afraid of myself, until that exact moment. It's not the fact that I hungerly attacked the heroin. Or the fact that I could snap on Thor.

The thing that scares me, is the thought that they would find me foaming at the mouth, seizing, and unresponsive, just like a real rabid dog.

The thought of them finding me like that, physically hurts me. And relapse is at given with addicts.

Then, a thought comes to me.

If I'm not alive, they won't have to deal with a relapse.

After all, I've been thinking about it since I was five. Ever since the first time that priest ran his hands over my body.

I take the eyebrow trimmer in hand. Silently, I wipe the smack off of the blade, before tracing the blade with my fingers.

With a sigh, I step towards the bathtub and start drawing a bath. As I do so, I think about making it easier on them.

Emotionlessly, I unlock my bedroom door and shut my bathroom door. When I've deamed the bath full enough, I turn off the water and pull off my jacket.

When I sit in the warm water, I release an emotionless sigh, before reaching out to grab the eyebrow shaper.

As I cut myself from wrist to half elbow, it feels painless, compared to everything I've been through.

Immediately following me placing the razor down, I regret it. But that lasts all of two seconds, when I think about Laufey's legacy ending with me.

As I watch the water change from crystal clear to a glorious shade of red, I remember something from my childhood.

And it wasn't horrible, like my father beating me, or being molested. The last good memory of my mum, before she was an addict.

When I was young, she would sing to me. I remember that she sang to me the night I first killed myself. The last time she ever did.

As my vision starts to go, and I can feel myself growing cold as I remember what she sang to me.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. But when I woke, dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my head in cried. You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away."

And just as the last bit of consciousness leaves me, I hear a woman scream.