Lyrics

Crying in the Club - Shawn

I knew she wasn't ok from the moment she sang her first line. She'd looked nervous when I saw her for sound checks and was shaky before I wished her luck, but I put it down to pre-stage jitters. I'd seen Camila perform a hundred times and dominate the crowds. I'd already performed my new song, Mercy and my friends and family had all come out to support me. I also introduced some friends to Camila and she'd been perfect throughout it all. Her usual, lively, goofy self. But as soon as her manager pulled her away to get final checks done, I saw the dim shadow in her big, beautiful eyes.

Watching her perform wasn't painful, she was still incredible, and I knew she could get through the songs, the ones she'd written with her own pain and memories as inspiration. But she looked miserable, despite the perfect dance moves and rise and fall of her vocals. I willed myself to keep cheering, to keep looking directly at her in case she caught my eye during her performance. She never did.

I wasn't upset, I knew she had to remain focused. But I'd been her eye-contact for many shows, I knew I could help her feel better. But maybe she didn't know that. The songs finished and the crowd cheered. I was mad at Toronto, the applause was polite, happy – but not all-out-unadulterated praise. She could sense it too. Her smile to the crowd was half-hearted and I could see from her posture, she wasn't happy.

As she rushed off stage, I looked over at my dad. All he had to do was give me a slow, soft nod and I knew. I knew I had to go to her, help her, be with her, comfort her. She'd done well, but she hadn't done it the Camila way – even he could see it.