Lyrics

If I Can't Have You Pt.2 - Shawn

The Grammy Awards night was one of the most memorable nights of my life.

I was one of the opening acts, performing my song with Miley. Camila's instincts had been right, her advice sound; I was good enough. I felt nervous and shaky to start, playing my song on the piano, but looking up and seeing the crowds, knowing that I'd earned the right to be amongst these people, gave me the strength for the performance. Miley followed my lead where she could and I actually started to enjoy the whole experience, earning a resounding applause to finish. Heading back into my dressing room afterwards, my dad gave me the biggest, longest hug and I could feel the love and pride through it, I suddenly felt incredibly emotional.

"Aw, bonitinho!" I heard someone giggle behind me. My dad pulled back and laughed, looking over my shoulder at the voice I immediately recognised but didn't understand, before he replied in Portuguese "Ele é meu heroi", He said, still smiling at me. I turned around in time for Camila to say, "eu também". Hearing them talk like this filled my already emotional heart with more joy. I pulled back from my dad to hug Camila, who was wearing a bright yellow, show-tunes-esque outfit.

She smiled softly at me; "Congratulations Shawnito, that was one hell of a performance." I laughed with joy and looked over at my dad before asking, "When did you two start speaking Portuguese to each other?" Camila knew my dad's family was from Portugal, but we never really spoke about that.

"I've just had to do two weeks of rehearsals with Brazilian dancers, I picked up more than just the Samba, you know." She winked, before hugging my dad lightly and coming back over to me. "How did that feel?" She asked me slightly more seriously, referring to my performance.

"Like a terrifying nirvana," I replied, knowing she would understand. She smiled broadly at that and rubbed my arm as she said, "Well you looked like you were enjoying it, which is what matters. I'm proud of you!" She hugged me again. "I came to say congrats but I've gotta go now, I'm up in 10 minutes, wish me luck." She winked.

"You don't need it, rock the house Camilita." I responded, waving her off. She cackled in response and skipped off. My dad's knowing grin made me blush. "I'm going to watch the show, want to join me?" I offered. His full smile was his only response as he clapped me on the back and we went back to the stage.

Camila's performance was nothing short of historical. Partnered with the other Latin-American powerhouse songs of the year, it was a raucous and dazzling affair, and Camila, my best friend, was at the helm. Her vocals were pitch perfect, her dance moves were sensational, her stage presence was awe-inspiring.

By the end of the performance, I was sick with euphoria, I could only imagine how she felt up there, with the entire audience on their feet cheering them. The whole experience, watching all these people cheer Camila and her song, made me realise; I was so privileged to know and love her. These people knew her as the performer, but I knew her heart and soul. I was drunk on it, that love for her. I knew in that moment what my next song was going to be about. My dad was right, I was never going to find another girl like this. And in that moment, I made another decision; I did need Senorita, I needed to finish that song with her.