Honest - Shawn

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I knew my family would understand. I was meant to go back home with them and my friends to have a post-show get together, but I couldn't leave, I had to fulfil my promise and make sure Camila was ok.

We waited until well past the end of the show, if there was paparazzi lurking, we didn't want to add fuel to the fire. Not today, not like this. We were driven to one of my favourite little Italian restaurants in Toronto. Understated, tucked away and perfect for talking quietly.

She was quiet at dinner, understandably. But after a big bowl of gnocchi and a couple of inappropriate James Corden jokes, she was starting to light up again. We didn't talk about the performance, we talked about our Christmas, our summer, our dogs, our friends, our family – just two people, talking about life. We didn't discuss albums or lyrics.

We were just starting to relax when the waiter asked us what "...such a beautiful couple would be doing for the rest of the night?". I turned bright red and spluttered into my water. She simply looked at me, took my hand and said to him, "Reminiscing about the good times." He seemed happy with that and left but she didn't let go of my hand. Looking me dead in the eyes, she smiled softly.

I was coming apart on the inside. I thought that, after seeing her on the bathroom floor - an emotional wreck, I couldn't and shouldn't feel such strong emotions about someone.  But looking at her across the table, with her holding my hand and smiling, I knew I was about to fall apart completely.

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