Lyrics

Running Low - Camila

My trip to Dubai with Matthew was strange, a bit off kilter. It wasn't the trip that was to blame though, the country, the culture, the experience was unforgettable. It was me that was being strange. We'd left the day after the Grammys, when I was still on a complete high from my performance. But by day three, I was feeling emotional and distant, not really engaging with Matthew as much as I could.

We had just had a fancy dinner at a beautiful sky-high restaurant, and we were sitting on our balcony afterwards, when he took my hand and asked me seriously, "You've been a bit quiet this trip, is everything ok?"

I smiled softly, "I'm sorry, I think I just worked so hard in preparation for the Grammys, I'm just tired." He nodded slowly but still looked worried. So I carried on, "I also think I have a lot of pent up emotional energy. I think it's time for me to get back into the studio and record my next album. "I admitted, it felt good to get the weight off my chest. He didn't smile at my confession, like I thought he would.

Instead he frowned and said, "Hmm, Shawn said this would happen..." he pulled his hand away and took a sip of his wine.

I was confused, "What do you mean Shawn said this would happen? When did you..."
He waved his hand casually, staring absentmindedly at the view, "When we were watching you rehearse before the Grammys. I was worried about how hard you'd been working," he started to explain "He said that you'd probably be so inspired and emotional by the whole experience that you'd want to get in the studio soon afterwards. Said you'd probably write the best material of your career for this next album, that you'd need the emotional outlet." He said the words quietly, still not looking at me. I wasn't breathing, how had Shawn known? Matthew took my silence as a cue to continue by admitting, "It scares me that he knows you so well, knew exactly how you'd feel before you even did."

I was staring at him blankly, trying my best to figure this out and not hurt him in the process. Eventually, I went over to him and sat in his lap as I said, "Shawn and I have been friends for a long time. We've both been through similar journeys in our careers. If he guessed at what would happen, it's only because he's been through the same." I ran my hands through his hair, trying to calm him. "We understand how each other's minds work musically, that's all." He had a pained expression on his face, I could tell he still didn't know what to think of it, so I leaned in to kiss him and said, "But right now, I'm here with you. I don't want to talk about Shawn." I finished, kissing him deeply. He seemed content with that, picking me up and carrying me to our bedroom.

A few hours later, Matthew was fast asleep next to me and I was a raging sea of emotion. I was lying there, staring at the ceiling, trying to quiet my mind. What else had Shawn said? Had he told Matthew about Señorita? I wasn't sure I wanted him to know we were working together yet, not until the song was finished and I could figure out how I was feeling about it. But Shawn had known exactly how I'd feel after the Grammys, he'd known exactly what I would do. I had always known we were close but somehow, he knew my heart and soul before I could even figure it out myself. It hurt so much to know that he had feelings for me, feelings that I could do nothing about. I loved him, didn't I? As a friend? But what if it was more? Was it possible to love two people at the same time? The man now lying next to me, always supporting me, making me feel happy and whole. And the one a million miles away, always apart from me yet somehow never leaving my mind and igniting my very core every-time I was around him.

Love. I decided, that would be what my next album was about. I called my manager first thing the next morning, "Roger babe, I need to book the studio when I'm back. I'm onto CC2". His resounding cheer in response made my heart glow.