Lyrics

She Loves Control - Camila

It was a far cry from my last performance in Toronto, that was for sure. I tried not to remind myself that the last time I had performed in the city was the night Shawn and I first kissed. It was nearly a year ago, so much had changed, I had to prove that to myself.

And I did that in the only way I knew how, by performing the shit out of my set. I was on fire, I felt good.

Matt originally wanted to come to Toronto to support me on this leg of the tour, but I told him it was best for me to spend it with my friends. After all, he knew Shawn and I were friends. He had probably guessed at the rest; he wasn't exactly stupid, but he never pushed me on it. Never probed about my Canadian Fury – I was grateful. I think he knew though, when I said he didn't need to come to Canada with me, that I needed the reunion I was dreading.

After the show when they came to see me backstage, Aaliyah came running at me first. She practically jumped on me, both of us squeezing the life out of one another in a big hug. "You were amazing! I love your outfit, when did your hair get so long!" she squealed. Apparently, my on-stage enthusiasm was contagious.

I was laughing when Shawn appeared, I took one look at him, lazily leaning against the door frame before I felt tears of joy creeping into my eyes. I smiled at Aaliyah in response before I ran over to him, giving him the hug I wanted to infuse with all the emotions I felt. He felt stronger, taller. I smiled into his chest as I felt him press a kiss on my head. "What a show, Señorita." He breathed into my hair before I pulled back to look at him properly.

"You liked it?" I laughed in relief.

"You're not bad at this whole touring thing, you know. I would even go as far as inviting you to perform on some of my tours. But I don't think you'd like the food – way too healthy!" He joked, I jabbed him in the stomach in response. He was probably right though. He took my face in his hands and wiped away the couple of tears that had escaped, I looked up at him and felt a million times better.

It felt the same, our friendship was intact. He was normal and wonderful, and I was so grateful. He let go and slung his arm around me, walking me back into the room with the others.

The rest of the night was a blur. We ordered pizza backstage and with his family and some other friends of mine, we just hung out, like old times. I started to feel our friendship was whole again, I was happy.