Lyrics

All These Years Pt. 2 - Shawn

Camila's back was against me, I was wrapped around her, my face nuzzled into her neck. I woke up slowly, the light from the window bringing daylight and reality into our little sanctuary. We had drifted off after the last time, both exhausted from the day and nights activities. I lifted my head to stare at her sleeping face, then I smiled as my gaze wandered down to her naked body and to the clothes trail on the bedroom floor. My heartbeat started to race again, I couldn't believe that this had happened, couldn't believe the confessions we'd made to each other. I'd written about a million lyrics about this moment, but it had just been a dream. I never thought it would actually come true.

But there was still so much ahead of us.
Although it took every ounce of willpower, I meant what I said; Camila probably needed the time to figure this out, to realise that it was ok for her to feel like this after Matthew. I had known her so long; I knew this would be a very painful experience for her and her big heart. Then I thought about the ridiculously busy year ahead of me with the rest of my world tour. I frowned as I watched her peaceful face; the situation was just typical...I finally get closer to the girl of my dreams and my schedule interrupts my plans.

I was still musing my thoughts when I heard Camila groan in annoyance, "How are you awake already?" She mumbled into her pillow, I smiled in response.
"You think I can close my eyes with you lying next to me looking like that?!" I teased, nibbling her ear in response. She squirmed then turned around to face me, stroking my jaw with her fingers as her eyes met mine.
"Good morning Señor Mendes." She whispered seductively; it was enough to completely undo me.
I tickled her in response; "Good morning Señorita." I purred back, her giggle filling my heart.
"We couldn't have slept for more than an hour..." she said, rubbing her eyes slightly.
"Well, it's still early, I think. I should probably go check, we probably both left our phones in the living room last night." I said, moving slightly to start getting out of bed.
She pulled on the covers, holding onto me tightly, "Don't you dare move Shawn Mendes," she growled, I froze, "I'm not ready to face the world yet..." she added sadly, nuzzling back into me.
I looked down at her in concern, "Nothing will change Mila, please know that. We're still the same people, we just need to figure out where we go from here." I was stroking her curls, trying to calm her.
She looked up at me with those big brown eyes I could drown in, "All I know is, I don't want to go back yet, I want you all to myself for a little while longer..." she whispered back.

It was all I needed to hear, she'd told me about Why and the emotions she felt. So, I kissed her deeply before looking into her eyes and telling her my truth. "I'm sorry for never acknowledging All These Years" I said quietly, her eyes glazed slightly at the memories. "I should have told you what it meant to hear that song, should have told you what I wanted. But..." Putting into words how much we could affect each other was so much more difficult than I could have imagined, I took a breath to steady myself. "But I was worried after that time in Toronto, I didn't know if I could open myself up like that again." She looked down slightly, her face was so sad, I simply stroked her cheek in response before softly smiling at her, "But I'm glad I didn't in the end. It inspired my own writing and you needed to make your mark on the industry without me, without my feelings getting in the way." I finished, putting a small kiss on her nose in the process.

She looked at me for a long time, studying my face before biting her lip with nervousness. Then she cupped my cheek and whispered, "You kept me going from day one Shawn, you have no idea how much." I was pretty sure my heart rate had picked back up again at those words, the constant butterflies in my stomach shifting happily in response. "Every performance, every recording, every event. Even if we never spoke about the songs we wrote for each other, it still worked. We still knew." She gave me a small, warm smile. "We just needed time." I smiled back but didn't have any more words, so I leaned down and kissed her again. I held her tightly as she nuzzled into me, we fell into a calm, content doze.

Eventually the light became too bright and we forced ourselves to untangle our limbs from one another and put our clothes back on. It took a good 30 mins to stop kissing each other, holding each other, doing anything but putting our clothes on. Finally, I checked my phone, it was 10am and we'd probably only slept for a couple of hours but somehow, I felt more alive and awake than I had in months.

"So, I know we said we would have lunch today..." she said, coming out of the bathroom and braiding her hair slightly as she walked towards me, my breath hitched at the sight of her, at what I'd done to her just a few hours ago. "But how do you feel about breakfast instead?" She winked, hugging me around the waist as she kissed my chest.

I smiled as I placed a kiss on her head. "I never thought this day would come..." I said softly into her head, I was glad she couldn't see the emotion on my face at this point, she could never truly know how much this all meant to me. She simply squeezed me in response, I knew that it was the start of her coming to grips with the intensity of what this could be.