paulson one shots

sarah said fuck foxxay lives

**"Cordelia LOVES MISTY. She just doesn't want to kiss her. But she is very very special and important to her"**

Misty knew Cordelia didn't feel the same as she did. She knew Cordelia loved her, appreciated her, cherished her, but she knew Cordelia didn't *love* her. And that broke her. Cordelia had told Misty how special she was to her, how important Misty was to her and how she'd loved every moment she'd had with her now that she was back from hell, but Misty knew it wasn't the kind of love that *she* had for *Cordelia.* It's a different kind of hurt, knowing that you would let someone completely and utterly break you and still you'd love them to the end of the earth. It's a different kind of hurt knowing that they don't feel the same way about you.

Misty tossed and turned, thinking about Cordelia and everything she'd ever told Misty. Everything she'd ever shared and all the moments they'd lived together. How happy Cordelia looked when Misty first appeared out of hell and how Cordelia had told her she'd missed her forever, even after only knowing her a short amount of time, and how Misty had gotten her hopes up. Thinking about those subtle glances between the two of them, the millions of smiles and hugs and shared beds. How could Misty have been so stupid to think Cordelia felt the same way. She was just a dumb swamp witch and Cordelia, she was the supreme. She was the most powerful witch on earth. Why did Misty think someone like Cordelia, would want someone like her?

A soft knock brought Misty from her ruminating thoughts, "Come in?" Misty called out just loud enough to be heard from the other side of her door. Misty had been staying back in her own room for the last few nights, feeling as though Cordelia didn't want her around as much anymore. And Cordelia hadn't said anything to her about it, so she took it as confirmation that her worries were true.

Cordelia's head, followed by the rest of the woman, slipped into Misty's room quietly, shutting the door behind her. "Miss Cordelia?" Misty questioned, sitting up in her messy bed. "What're yer doin up... an here?" Misty cleared her throat, her voice scratchy from crying.

"I was worried about you, Misty. You've been avoiding me the past few days and I was just... worried is all. Are you okay?" Cordelia's words spilled from her mouth. "I- uh... yes Miss Cordelia, m' okay." Misty tripped over her words, willing herself not to burst into tears for the second time tonight.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Cordelia still stood by the door, her hands clasped behind her back, her body swaying slightly back and forth from nerves. "I um, I hadn tried to, Miss Cordelia, I swear it." Misty stammered even more, not wanting to have this conversation.

"What's going on with you Misty Day?" It came out a bit harsher than Cordelia had intended, and she immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry Misty, that wasn't meant to be so harsh. I just want to know what's going on, maybe I could help? If you'd just let me in." Cordelia approached Misty's bed, standing at the foot.

"I, it's nothin' really Delia..." Misty switched to her nickname for Cordelia, wanting to show her that she was fine, really. "I don't believe you. And I don't believe you when you say you haven't been avoiding me, because you have. Please tell me what's going on Misty, please." Cordelia nearly begged Misty now, opting to sit on the side of her bed, her hand finding Misty's leg from atop the sheets and settling there, looking into her eyes.

Misty couldn't help but let the tears cascade down her cheeks yet again, wiping them away as she looked anywhere but Cordelia's face. "Miss Cordelia..." Misty held her breath for a second before letting it go. "I have been avoidin ya. But... I thin I've jus been avoidin what it is I gots to say, is all." Misty started, her voice shaky. "This is the hardest thin I done ever done, but I know it's gots to be done so it can be over..." Cordelia looked confused as ever and Misty explained.

"I love ya Miss Cordelia... more than I ever loved anyone before, an not in a friend way. I know you don feel the same, an I understan... but you wanted an answer an... that's all I got to tell ya, concerning the matter." Misty looked at her hands twiddled in her lap, waiting for Cordelia's pleas of pity.

"I'm sorry Misty. I didn't realize that's why you've been acting so strange. I'm thankful that you told me, and you're right, as much as it pains me to hurt you, I can't pretend to feel the same. I love you Misty, you mean the world to me, but in a friend way, a soulmate way. You've got a piece of my heart always Misty Day, I'm just so deeply sorry that it's not the way you want it to be. I'm always going to be here for you, I hope you know that." Cordelia broke Misty's heart just a little more with those words.

"I know Miss Cordelia, you ain't got to tell me," Misty couldn't hold back her sobs, even though she tried. She didn't want Cordelia to feel bad. You cant control who you love and who you don't, and Misty knew this. She knew her heart would break, it already had, practically.

"Do you want me to leave, Misty?" Cordelia asked, her voice cracking. She felt awful for letting Misty down. She didn't want to break the girl's heart, but she couldn't fake feelings for her, that would ultimately lead to her heartbreak as well.

Misty sighed shakily, catching her breath. "Fer now," Misty choked on another sob. She wanted to be alone. She wanted Cordelia to be in her life, and she knew she would be okay with having Cordelia just the way she does now... but she also knew she needed time to process. Let her heart break and mend its self.

"Okay," Cordelia rose from Misty's bed. "I'm sorry Misty." Cordelia looked to the ground and walked back out of Misty's room, shutting the door softly behind her, leaving Misty alone and in tears.

Misty knew this would come, and she was almost glad it was over now. She could heal now, get past it. Keep Cordelia in her life, and stop avoiding her. Be the bigger person and suck it up. There was more to life than love. Misty would survive, no matter how much it felt like her heart was splitting into a million pieces.

A/N

it was sad girl hours again, i'm sorry

[not proofread, as always]