paulson one shots

look at me // sally x reader

"Look at me."

"Y/N look at me!"

"Just fucking look at me!"

"I CAN'T OKAY? I can't fucking look at you. It hurts and you have never fucking understood that. I can't look you in the eyes without it burning and making my skin crawl. I hate when you touch me without warning all the time and think it's funny. I hate that you don't listen to me when I tell you this shit isn't fucking funny Sally! I goddamn love you. But you have never once actually listened to a word that came out of my mouth and you never once have tried to understand how I feel and why I feel the ways I do. My brain is different than yours Sal. It's fucking different and I'm sorry that I can't be the perfect partner for you but I just can't do this shit anymore okay? I just I fuc- I can't okay? I cant?" You pushed her away, hearing the soft thump of her falling onto the bed as you turned away. Tears were streaming down your face and you wished more in this moment than ever that she had just listened the first million times you'd explained how you felt. The first million times you'd explained that your brain was simply wired differently but she laughed it off and continued to press on and on until right now and you snapped.

"I-" Sally's voice cracked behind you and you knew she was crying. You could feel her broken spirit and you couldn't even look in her direction.

"Sally please don't be like that, I'm sorry for snapping I just-" You ran your hands through your hair. "I've explained this over and over and you constantly break my boundaries and I have to draw a line somewhere baby or I'm gonna go mental." You tried to reason with the ghost. You knew she didn't mean to hurt you.

"I'm sorry." Was all Sally could whisper as she stared at the floor, absentmindedly ripping the holes in her fishnets even larger than they already were.

"Are you going to leave?" She looked up at you this time, her eyes pleading with every inch of your soul as tears cascading down her pale face in black trails of mascara.

You nearly crumpled to the ground, god the last thing you wanted to do was leave. But honestly, you had no idea. So you lied. "No, I'm not going to leave." You had no clue whether your statement really was a lie or not.

You hadn't decided what you were going to do. It all came down to Sally. Her decisions and her actions and apologies. A change in her behavior, in a good way, meant that you would stay. You just hoped she was capable.

You knew she genuinely wanted to understand you. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt you. Truthfully, she'd probably kill herself from the guilt if she wasn't already dead.

You knew it was hard for her. But that didn't make it any less hard for you, either. You just had to trust that she could change. Trust that she would keep her word.

"I promise I won't make you look into my eyes anymore." You heard her say. You immediately glanced in her direction, meeting her eyes for a split second.

"Really?" She had gotten angry at you so many times, despite how many times you tried to explain why it was so difficult for you to do so.

"Really." Perhaps this change was possible? Would she keep this promise?

You stuck your pink out, looking into her eyes again shortly. She instantly met your pinky with hers. "I pinky promise it." She smiled the beautiful smile you first fell in love with and you couldn't help but untangle your pinkies and crash your lips onto hers.

"I love you Sally." You said as you pulled away. She was crying again, though you knew this time it was a good thing.

"I love you too."

a/n

ummm hi so sorry it took me so long to update anything in here! writers block has me toast on the updates and i got my first job so i've been pretty busy with that! anyway, hope you enjoyed and just incase my proofreading isn't up to speed, sorry for any mistakes! <3