Save Me From This Hell

Seeing Sophia

Catherine's (y/n) point of view

It's the next day and today I get to see Sophia, even though I've seen her and held her briefly when she was born and seen the photos of her that Zak took. It feels like I haven't seen her in days, and I can't wait to see her. I'm also a little bit nervous about seeing her, she's all covered in tubes and wires. I'm worried that what if I can't bond with her properly as she's got the tubes and wires on her.

Zak has reassured me last night everything will be OK and I'll love her just the same amount as I love Cody. He's right I will love her the same amount as Cody. It was strange last night as Zak headed home to be with Cody but I'm glad he did as he has brought in my hospital bag this morning so I finally have my own clothes to change into.

After a quick shower I got changed into some pyjamas. Just as I was finishing brushing my hair Zak came into my room with a wheelchair.

Zak: "you ready to go and see our little girl, baby?"

As soon as I saw Zak I had a big smile appear in my face.

Catherine (y/n): "I'm ready"

Zak came over to me gave me a kiss and held me in his arms before he helped me into the wheelchair. Then he started to wheel me up to intensive care to see our baby girl, as we arrived there we was greeted my our OBGYN.

OBGYN: "hello Zak, Hello Catherine (y/n), how are you feeling?"

Catherine (y/n): "Hey, little sore but I'm OK"

OBGYN: "you'll be back to normal in a couple of days, you ready to see Sophia?"

Catherine (y/n): "yeah, I'm excited"

Zak: "we both are"

OBGYN: "Well let's go through so you both can see her"

As we was going down to the room where Sophia was the OBGYN was telling us how well Sophia is doing. I was taking it all in but I also wasn't listening I just want to see her.

Zak: "that's great news"

Catherine (y/n): "it really is"

Finally we arrived to the room Sophia was in and we went inside. As we got closer and closer to Sophia I saw her and how tiny she is. I carefully put my hand inside of her incubator and held her little hand. I started to feel emotional and I cried slightly.

Zak got down to my level and comforted me.

Zak: "what's wrong baby?"

I began to break down, it's all my fault.

Catherine (y/n): "it's all my fault, I put my body under stress and made Sophia arrive early"

Zak's point of view

As Catherine (y/n) was breaking down I comforted her. Then hearing the words she said made me hurt inside.

Catherine (y/n): "it's all my fault, I put my body under stress and made Sophia arrive early"

Why is she blaming herself, it could happen to anyone.

Zak: "baby... Its not your fault, it could happen to anyone. You didn't do anything wrong to cause this"

Catherine (y/n): "but I did, I put my body under too much stress"

Zak: "baby...."

OBGYN: "Catherine (y/n), you didn't do anything wrong, it happens to most girls. There's no explanation why it happens, it's just what happens in nature. Don't blame yourself sweetie, it's not your fault"