Willow Heights

34

Chapter 34 part 1

Onika's POV

Maybe I am jealous, angry, or both. I didn't expect coming to Houston would be this hurtful. My love for Bey is undeniable and seeing her with both Pharret and TJ made me want to go back to my old ways with relationships. I was hurt to say the least.

Yesterday was really long and it dragged like hell. I haven't seen my baby in two years, and I think last night's argument was the worst ... ever.

We didn't communicate for the rest of day. You could hear a pen drop with us in the same room. We only talked if it was about Nadia. I hated that we were in this position. I bet she would have been okay if I was still in prison. Her life was different, I was old news.

I went to sleep on the couch but woke up in her bed. I heard the closet shut which woke me up.

"Sorry. I - I have to get ready for work," she stuttered.

I watched her anxiously move around the room trying to find something to wear. She didn't look at me, not once.

"No, it's okay," I replied, stretching my arms out.

"No it isn't," she whispered. By this time, her clothes were being thrown across the room. She tried on three different shirts within 10 seconds but none of them pleased her. She was panicking but for what.

"Bey?"

"Are you leaving me?" She blurted

My lips parted but I didn't know what to say. Hell no, I didn't want to leave her but since the night I got here, everything has been going wrong.

"You hate me."

I sat up in the bed, finally getting my eyes to open completely. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"You questioned my love for you. How could you? I was willing to give up my scholarship for you. To stay in New York with you."

She plugged her flat irons and began doing her hair. I looked at the time on my watch which read 6:32 a.m. It was way too early for this.

She peeped me looking at the time on my wrist. "I know it's early. We don't have to talk about it."

"I wasn't gonna let that happen. We always wanted better living than staying in some shitty apartment in New York with shitty ass people. I wanted you in Houston. I don't regret that. Do you regret it?"

She eventually shook her head "no" while she straightened her hair piece by piece. 

"But I do regret suggesting  you see other people. I can't stand it. I really can't."

"So what the hell am I to do Onika huh? You constantly pushed me away. I tried to stay or did I not try hard enough?"

"I never seen myself going to jail and on top of that, when I found out my mom relapse, everything became dark. She told me she would stay clean - she stopped answering my calls like I was nothing! I didn't trust anyone including you-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me any of this? Why couldn't you trust me? After everything we've been through."

"Bey, I was locked up and you were alone and pregnant. You were bound to cheat on me."

"I would have never cheated on you. Why are you saying this?"

"I'm saying this because I know when things get hard, you don't make the best decisions," I honestly said.

"Let's be real. Every decision I ever made was because of you."

The tone in her voice had me on edge. It was full of sadness. That didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Then, I thought about us and how she could be right. Leaving her home, fucking TJ, seeing Ferret - it was all because of me. I wanted to speak but silence entered the room once again. Neither of us could believe we were going through this.