Anorexic Part 2

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Hey guys. So I've started trying to recover from anorexia, and I'm doing okay. I just wanted to write this because this happened a few weeks ago. Also this will probably be short.

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Jonah sat sobbing in the bathroom. He wanted to tell them, so badly. He wanted to tell his boyfriends how badly he was hurting. He wanted to tell them that he wasn't okay. That he needed help.

But he couldn't.

How could he tell the boys he so desperately loved that he couldn't eat because he thought he looked fat every time he looked in a mirror.

Jonah yelled out in frustration, glad that he had roomed with Zach, who was out shopping with the other boys. Jonah had told them he didn't feel good and was going to try and rest.

He screamed out as he stood up, looking in the mirror. He was so, so fat.

Because when Jonah looked in the mirror, he didn't see the ribs that were showing through his skin. He didn't see how his stomach was caving in from starving himself for so long.

He saw rolls and fat, he saw imperfection. He saw someone who wasn't worthy of love.

Jonah grabbed at his hair with his hands, pulling at it as he tried to get these thoughts to stop.

He hated himself. He hated himself so much.

Jonah looked at the mirror, at how it was taunting him with how utterly imperfect he was.

The crying brunette balled up his fist and punched the glass, backing away in shock when he broke the glass. Blood dripped from his hands as he began to laugh.

Why was he even alive? What was the point?

He laughed at the utter irony of his life. He has the best life ever, the best boyfriends ever, and he still hates every second of being in his body.

Jonah's laughter turned into sobbing as he leaned against the wall and sobbed. He didn't want to be here anymore.

And that's how the boys found him five minutes later. Curled up in the corner of their hotel bathroom, sobbing with blood everywhere.

Zach gasped and ran up to him, taking him into his hold and picking him up. The younger carried him to one of the beds while the rest of them followed, forming a protective circle around Jonah.

"Baby what happened?" Zach asked, rocking them back and forth.

Jonah just sobbed and hiccuped, not able to form words.

Jack looked down at his hands and quickly ran to the bathroom to get a wet wash cloth. The curly-haired boy (yes he has curly hair in this) hurried back to the bed, wrapping Jonahs hands in the damp white cloth.

Blood began seeping through, but it was stopping the blood flow after a few minutes.

Corbyn stroked his hair as Daniel wipes the tears off of his cheeks just as quickly as they came, trying to calm the older boy down.

"Don't change, every part of you is just right..." Zach began to sing, all of the other boys joining in after a few minutes.

They all knew singing calmed the oldest down, and it never helped more than now.

The brunette slowly stopped sobbing, cries reduced to small hiccups.

"Baby what's wrong?" Daniel asked after a while of them all sitting in silence.

"I-I hate m-myself. It s-started with m-me not e-eating but it's g-gotten w-worse." Jonah explained.

"Oh J. You haven't been eating?" Corbyn asked.

Jonah just shook his head, burying his face in Zach's collarbone.

"Is it okay if we look?" Jack asked him.

Jonah's muscles immediately tensed up, but he nodded nonetheless, closing his eyes against Zach's chest, not wanting to see their reactions.

Jack just lifted up Jonahs shirt, exposing his ribs and malnourished body.

Zach felt tears welling up in his eyes as he pulled Jonah closer into him. Corbyn covered his mouth with a hand to keep from sobbing at the condition his oldest boyfriend was in. Jack pulled the shirt back down, biting his lip to keep in his cries. Daniel had tears streaming down his face, but was careful not to make a sound to not jar Jonah.

"It's okay baby, we're gonna get you help. I promise you, okay?" Zach said, rubbing his arm which he now realized was way too skinny.

"O-okay. I love y-you guys." Jonah said, sniffling.

"We love you too baby. More than anything." Jack responded, rubbing his thigh.

"We're gonna help your love yourself again. I promise." Corbyn whispered.

Jonah smiled lazily at them, feeling sleep beginning to take over his body.

"Sleep Bear. We'll be right here when you wake up." Daniel said, running a hand through his hair.

Jonah just nodded, falling asleep in Zach's arms.

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