Jonah Marais sickfics

Self Harm

Hey y'all this request is for rookie5678 I hope you like it!

Also this is triggering for self harm. It mentions anorexia, bulimarexia, and cutting. Please please please do not read this if that triggers you. I love you guys so much and don't want one of my stories to cause any of you harm.

If anyone needs to talk my PMs are always open

Love y'all💜

Also this is a Jonah, Zach, and Daniel ship.
///////////////////////////////////////////

Jonah didn't understand emotions.

Ever since his grandma died, he hasn't been able to feel anything. And he wanted so badly to feel something.

He should be able to grieve, but he can't.

It hurt so bad, but he couldn't grieve her because he felt numbed and blinded by pain.

His boyfriends had been with him the whole time, and tried to get him to cry and grieve, but he just couldn't.

A piece of him was missing, and he didn't know how to fill that void.

The oldest gingerly got out of the hold of his boyfriends hold, careful not to wake them from where they lay on the huge bed.

He walked into their bathroom, rummaging through drawers before he found it.

His razor.

He had never cut before, but he needed to feel something, so badly.

So, he snapped one of the blades off and brought it down towards his wrist. The brunette sucked in a breath as he brought the razor down onto his tanned skin, watching as it split in half and blood began to wash out.

A tear slipped down his face from pain as his mind felt relief.

He felt something.

He quickly made three more cuts, each more satisfying than the last. Tears flowed down his face from pain, but all he felt was relief.

He actually felt something.

He washed the cuts under the sink, savoring the harsh stinging it brought. The oldest of the band wrapped the cuts and pulled down his sweatshirt sleeve, walking back to bed.

Daniel and Zach had cuddled in the middle of the bed while he was gone, so he smiled and walked around to be behind Daniel. He cuddled him as he slowly fell asleep, a satisfied smile on his face.

————-;)————

"Jo, wake up baby." Daniel coaxed, running a hand through his hair gently.

Jonah cracked his eyes open slightly to see the fake blonde sitting up against the headboard of the bed, smiling lovingly down at him. He whined slightly, moving up and laying his head in Daniels lap.

The younger just laughed, putting his hands around Jonahs ribs and pulling him up so he was sitting in his lap.

"Sleepy bubs?" He asked quietly, running a hand up and down his back.

Jonah just laid his head in Daniels chest, nodding against it.

"Come on, I gotta wake Zay up and we need to go get breakfast." Daniel said, smiling at him.

A hunger pain hit Jonah at the mention of food, he hadn't eaten since lunch the day before because of their busy schedule. He didn't want to eat, he wanted to feel the pain associated with hunger.