utah || hemmings au {sequel to camp || hemmings au}

thirty-nine

It was times like this that I enjoyed the most. Just being with Luke, feeling his arms around me, and the warmth of his body. I had missed this so much and I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I would feel him pull me closer to him in his bed every once in a while, and when he couldn't pull me any closer he gave me a tight squeeze. It had only been a a couple of weeks since Luke and I had gotten back together, and things weren't back to normal just yet, though they were slowly getting there. I could probably stay in bed with him all day, cuddling and just taking him in, but I had to be home by dinner.

Luke had been quiet most of the time that we had just been lying there, and I wasn't sure why. I knew he hadn't fallen asleep, as I could feel his thumbs gently rubbing my back. I figured something was troubling him because he always seemed to have something on his mind. I hated that he always seemed down and out, he didn't deserve that.

"Why are you so quiet?" I asked softly. I shifted a bit in his arms and he sighed.

"I'm just thinking," He said slowly. When Luke said he was 'just thinking', it usually meant he was over thinking. He had a horrible habit of doing that, and most of the time he made things worse than they seemed.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," Luke answered shortly. "I'm going to miss you when you leave."

He and I had talked about this a few times already; I was still going to college. As much as I would love to stay in Utah with him, I wanted to go to college. I was a little skeptical at first about even going to college, but once I started preparing for it, I realized that it was the best decision and in the end it was what I truly wanted.

Luke, however, did not exactly like my choice to leave. He insisted that I stay in Utah and that he would take care of me, but that wasn't what I wanted. It would have been nice for it all to be that simple, but it wasn't. College was my best option and I knew that, but Luke didn't seem to think so.

"I'm going to miss you, too." I sighed as well. I really would miss him, just as much as I would my family, but I couldn't just drop everything to stay.

"Why don't you just stay then?" I instantly untangled myself from him and sat up on the bed. He had said this everyday since we had gotten back together and honestly, I was tired of hearing it. I understood that he wanted me to stay, but that wasn't going to happen and he needed to see that. My mind was made up and I was going to Rhode Island.

"We've discussed this already, Luke. I'm tired of repeating myself." I sat on the edge of the bed and picked up my bra from the floor, putting it back on.

"I know," He said, and although my back was to him, I could imagine him rolling his eyes. "You say this is what you want, but is it really?"

"Yes, Luke, this is what I want." I groaned. I didn't understand why he didn't see this was what I really wanted. This would make me happy, I wanted to go. I want to leave Utah for a while, even though I hadn't even been living there long. I wanted to make something of myself, not just be a stay at home wife. That wasn't what I saw for my future.

"I don't think it is," Luke almost whispered. I let out a frustrated sigh as I pulled my shirt over my head.

I turned to look at him and he was propped up on his elbows, staring back at me. "How do you know what I want, Luke? You aren't me, you have no idea what it is that I want."

"You don't want this, Care. I know you don't." Luke shook his head.

"No, Luke, you don't want this. But, guess what? You don't get to make this decision. I do, and I'm going."