floriography [ stories five ]

blog || and back to lewis content

[ i rlly like this format pls give me questions for lewis to answer thank

again usernames are fun & i gave bailey the big question again oops

i'm setting this slightly in the future bc timeline things~
aka i'm setting this in 2023 and i'll explain at the end

stay safe,
lew. ]

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I'm putting more effort into this and I'd like to apologize to the lovely people who dealt with my all lowercase bullshit last time. I'm just very excited about this!

Also, I promise I'll have other content than this, because it'd be a very boring blog if all I did was answer questions. I've got a post about my garden in the works, as well as an announcement about my music coming soon!

So... here we go!

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do you ever miss your hometown? ( kinziewithlove from instagram )

Gods, yes. But I also understand how it wasn't a good environment for me as a teen. Missing things is okay. Missing things that may have been toxic for you is an understandable behavior. Just don't let that toxicity seep back into your life.

Personally, I don't think I could move back to Huntington. Even though it's where I spent the first sixteen years of my life, the bad memories always surface the fastest. I'm content with visiting my brother and his family a few times a year, seeing all the things that changed, and what forever remains the same.

I'm happy with where I am. Sure, I'm further away from my brother than I'd like, but I've got Logan, Z, Alex, etc: the people I've come to love and cherish and respect in my adult life.

That place just represents one of the lowest points in my life, and I feel like I'd start going back to old habits if I spent too much time there.

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why don't you and harry get along? ( haloforever on twitter )

This is a can of worms I'd rather not open. The simple version is that I'm a horrible person and I emotionally hurt him years ago.

The slightly longer version is that there was a person in both of our lives that we adored, and I did some not-good things and destroyed Harry's trust in both me and the other person.

The full version is not going to be shared now, if ever.
I'm not comfortable talking about it yet, because it's full of highly personal details I'm still coming to terms with, and I'd want to ask everyone else involved if they were okay with me bringing this up before I explained in detail.

All I ask is that you don't bother Harry about it. The only reason I've even said this much is because people have asked variations of it literally two thousand times, just for this post. I counted.

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what's the meaning of life? ( baileybaby on twitter )

I don't know if there is a meaning to life. A definitive one, I mean.

Your meanings change as you get older, and everyone has a different meaning and goal.

Like, when I was five, my meaning in life was that every day, I got to help my mom with her garden. I was convinced that was what I was alive for.

At fifteen, I was convinced that I was on this earth for the sole purpose of being the family fuck up so my brother didn't have to. I was only meant to ruin my life in the worst ways.

And then, at twenty five, I came to the conclusion that the meaning for my life has always been to do what I can, when I can, to help and support and inspire people. To get my thoughts out there, in regular writing or through music. And I'd been doing that since age eighteen.

It's really surreal, when people recognize me and come talk, tell me that I've helped them in some way. The words that probably never would've left my notebook, had Logan not taken a chance on me, are now forever inked on someone's skin, stuck in their head, and held close in their heart.

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favorite songs at the moment? ( musicjunkie02 on instagram )

I'm perpetually stuck in the 2000s, as you probably know by now. Most of my actual favorite songs are older ones, like Karma Police by Radiohead and (gods, Logan's gonna laugh about this one I just know it) Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver.

Currently, as of, y'know, the beginning of 2023, here's a few songs I've been listening to a lot-
- In Bloom (Acoustic) by Neck Deep
- Saint Bernard by Lincoln
- Sad Kid In A Black Hoodie by Lil Phag
- Dancing After Death by Matt Maeson
- XO by Eden

Plus, I can't recommend enough of With Love  ;)

(PS, shameful self promo. Listen to The Bad List, it's A+.)

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favorite lyric (either one you've written or otherwise)? ( heymoon on tumblr )

I've written so many things it's hard to pinpoint my favorite. But it's probably from an unreleased track from when I was 21. It's bitter and it's tied to a lot of things I don't talk about from that time, and it's not going to get released for that reason.

But I do have a few lyrics written on my wall because New Year's Eve drunk!Lewis thought it was a good idea to graffiti my studio wall.

"It's like God fell asleep in the middle of the day He built my self-esteem." from Never Bloom Again by Waterparks. (Woo!! If you have low self esteem clap your hands 👏👏. But anyway I wish I had this song when one of my exes and I broke up. )

"We all float on." from Float On by Modest Mouse. (This one is just simple, but you just need to keep going. Life is gonna throw curveball after curveball at you, but you've just got to keep moving. Float on.)

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how are your friends doing? more importantly,,, how are you?? ( faerie.tale.ending on instagram )

First off, bless you, you're a sweetheart. Second, I hope you're doing well!

My friends are good! I hung out with the guys a couple days ago, and they're all doing pretty well. No one's sick, which is good!

Z's been working a lot, so I need to figure out when we can hang out again. Then, I keep on bothering Alex at work so I see him fairly often. He works at the record store at (insert address here), so go tell him I said hi!

As for myself, I've definitely been better. My luck with not injuring myself/getting sick isn't holding out, so I've been to the doctor about ten times in three months. Between Logan and Alex, I've been checked up on enough. Worst instance was definitely when I dropped one of my mom's terra cotta flower pots on my foot. Luckily, no broken bones!!

And mental health wise, the holidays are never the best time, but this year wasn't bad.

And like I say literally every time someone asks me, if your anxiety/depression/etc is affecting your quality of life, please get professional help. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and even though America's healthcare system is fucked, a stable mind is invaluable.

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Thank you all so much!
Maybe next time, I'll get a friend to answer stuff with me.

lots of love,
lrw.

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[ okie dokie it's set in 2023 for multiple reasons
- it gives l+l enough time to be normal friends again
- it also makes enough room for the z breakup
- i wanted to lmao

so vaguely updating the timeline looks like this:

2022- lewis + z break up / lewis + alex get together a few months later
2024- they get engaged (trying to decide if they'd get married that same year or the next oops)

(if everything i had was still accurate, logan dies in 2028)

also,,, with that note,,, an idea i just had was lewis starting a charity to help teens / young adults get the antidepressants / anxiety medication / therapy they need