I just proof read this shit and damn... I snapped idc idc 😔✋🏼
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"You're hurting me." I said. She immediately let go, her eyes softening. I watched her run her hands through her messy but perfect hair, while her body language showed she was clearly frustrated. Possibly angry.
I sat up properly on the couch and tentatively patted the space next to me. Vanilla swept past my nostrils as she moved to my side.
We were sitting in a blue tinted, dark room. There were solo cups scattered on the floor and the faint beat of a song playing somewhere else. It was relatively quiet, just the slight breath from someone else, or people sneaking about in the hallways.
Billie's face was shadowed just like everything else in the room but her eyes looked electric, buzzing with something otherworldly. They haunted my dreams and were on my mind every second of the day.
I couldn't read her expression. I'm sure mine was anxious. Why, I wasn't so sure.
Beginning of the end, maybe? Like I said, I wasn't sure.
For the first time in a couple of tense minutes, my other half finally spoke.
"You promised you wouldn't get drunk off your ass," she murmured. Her voice was small but firm. Only Billie could be two things so contradicting at once. That's what she was; one confusing contradiction of a person.
"Actually, I promised I wouldn't come back late," I spoke softly. We were complete opposites. She was harsh and I was soft. I liked light and she chose to be in the dark. She was ice and I was fire. Funny how that works out.
"Well you didn't do that either!" Billie snapped. I flinched slightly at her tone but placed my hand on top of her curled fist. I felt all the tension in her body dissipate slowly.
I never moved my hand off her own. "Baby... Why are you angry? Apart from the fact that I got drunk, it... shouldn't make you this upset."
"Cause I'd move heaven and hell for you! A-And you don't give a fuck!" Billie's breath hitched slightly. "You d-don't care at all."
My eyebrows furrowed and I shook my head in denial. "Of course I care!"
Billie gave me an icy glare. "Don't disrespect me by lying and expecting me to believe you," she hissed.
I was taken aback. "What're you talking about!"
"What's your secret? The one you've kept from me since a couple days ago that's made you act all weird? The one that made you promise to go to this stupid party with your friends, when we already had plans, because you don't want to be alone with me? What's so fucking bad that you've decided to ignore me and m-make me feel like shit!"
I kept shaking my head. "I haven't ign-" She removed her hand from under mine. I suddenly felt mortified that she didn't want to touch me anymore.
"I'm leaving soon." I felt my heart break a little as I saw Billie's face crumble slightly.
"I knew it," Billie said her eyes staring at nothing in particular. She was tearing up, I wasn't used to the idea of her crying and it deeply unsettled me. I guess that I was breaking her heart. I guess that's what was happening. I guess. As I said before I'm... not sure of anything anymore.
She laughed with no humour still staring off into space. I couldn't help but think she looked beautiful in tears. "I knew it, you know," Billie's eyes found mine again. They were guarded but more open than they'd ever been. I told you she's contradicting.
Suddenly her tearful gaze turned aggressive. She was still crying but anger replaced any other emotion. "So why the fuck does it look like I care more than you do?"
I wasn't crying. That's what she was referring to. My lack of feeling. Seems like the tables have turned, haven't they?
"Billie, I love you. And I'm sorry," I tried to make her understand.
She couldn't believe that the one time she let herself love, she got her heart broken. I could tell, I could see it on her face.
Her facade crumbled again. "Wh-Why do you have to leave?" She wrapped her arms around me and I returned the gesture, whispering in her ear that'd it'd be okay.
"I'm so mad, and sad. And I want to punch you, but I know I can't do that so I'm gonna hug you instead." Billie mumbled into my shoulder.
"Can't believe you got me being all emotional man," she whined. I felt her smile into my skin.
I've said it once. I'll say it again. Bipolar disorder is real y'all.
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