When I was your fan

epilogue

'Ano ba naman 'to bat ang ingay.'

"Dyschronometria.."

Kaya pala ako naging ganito. I remember everything.

"Tsk. Nakatulog lang ako, nag-aaway away na kayong lahat." Nagtatampo kunyaring usal ko. Lahat sila ay napabalikwas at tumingin sa'kin. "Gulat kayo 'no?"

"Zelie! Waah!" Joy squealed. Niyakap niya agad ako at tumalon talon. "You're awake! You're awake!"

"Yes." Sabi ko at mahinang tinapik ang balikat niya. Kumawala ako sa yakap namin. "I'm awake.. and I also know everything.."

"Zel.." mahinang usal ni V. Tiningnan ko ang mata niyang punong puno ng guilt. Nginitian ko siya. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be.." sabi ko at umayos sa pagkakasandal sa higaan. "It was no one's fault. I'm glad I remember everything now."

After a few minutes of chatting, I asked Kiko kung pwede ko siya makausap privately. Sa rooftop ko nalang naisipan makipag-usap.

"You know.." I heard him whisper. His eyes seem aware I was staring at him.

I let out a chuckle. "Yeah.."

'Punyemas ang awkward.'

Hinayaan ko nalang na tahimik ang paligid. Hindi ko makuha ang lakas para magsimulang magsimula. But as time passes, hindi ko napapansing nagluluha na pala ako. Naging balisa si Kiko sa reaction ko.

"Hey.." sabi niya. He wiped my tears. "Shh. Tahan na. Don't cry.."

'I wish it was that easy to stop..'

"I feel like I don't even know myself." Panimula ko. He caressed my hair while listening to me. "Ilang taon ko hinayaan sarili kong ganito. How stupid of me. I feel like niloloko ko lang sarili ko. Because even I don't know myself anymore.."

"But you know what's even more heartbreaking?" I asked him. "Hinayaan ko sarili kong kalimutan ka. And that was selfish. I'm sorry, Kiko.." huminto ako sa pagsasalita. Umiyak nalang ako nang umiyak nang tahimik.

"I should be sorry." Pambabasag ni Kiko sa katahimikan. Parehas kaming nakatingin sa kung saan. "If it wasn't because of that accident, you wouldn't suffer.. It was all my fault. I was the one who was selfish.."

Katahimikan ulit ang pumalibot sa buong rooftop. Magtapos ang ilang minuto ay doon ko ulit nakuha ang lakas ng loob magsalita.

"Anong meron sainyo ni Xiana?" Tanong ko. I bit my lip. Alam kong masasaktan lang ako sa maririnig ko pero I still chose to ask him this.

"Engaged kami."

My heart broke into pieces. I never thought I would hear him say that. Parang akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa.

"Oh." I let out a chuckle. I tried so hard not to let my tears slip. "Is that so? Congrats, ninang ako ah?"

After that, silence followed. again.

"How did it happen?" Nagtanong muli ako. Knowing na masasaktan lang ako sa maririnig ko.

"Her parents helped treat my disorder.. When I still had it, Xiana fell inlove with me. At nang dahil do'n, gusto ng magulang niya pakasalan ko siya in exchange with my treatment." Paliwanag niya.

"Sila rin ba ang nagligtas sa'yo sa car crash?" Tanong ko muli. Bahagya siyang natigilan.

"No. It was Haru.." sabi niya with the lowest tone possible. I gasped. Hindi ako makapaniwala. "Nagkataon na andoon siya nung nangyari yung crash."

It finally made sense to me. I'm now satisfied with the answers. I think I could move on already.

How bad I wanted to get our old relationship back. Pero mukhang hindi na kailangan. He has his own life. I shouldn't bother him anymore.

After all what happened, I'm just a friend now. I'm ready to suffer.

---

"Are you ready?" Bungad ni Joy sa'kin sa pinto. I was just getting my stuff. "Tara na. Baka mamiss natin yung concert."

---

"How's that manila!?"

Matinding hiyawan ang pumalibot sa arena dahil sa pagsalita ni Daniel. Tatlo kami ni Joy at V ay nanonood mula sa Lowerbox.

Malapit na mag-end yung concert nila. They all look tired but satisfied. Each and every one of them has a genuine smile on their face.

It makes me happy to see them succeed.

"Last but not the least.. We would like to thank someone.." sabi ni Wyeth sa crowd. Lahat kami ay tumahimik at nag-abang sa kung ano mang sasabihin nila.

" We wouldn't be here with you.." inagaw ni Yatzhi ang mic mula kay Daniel. Pinasa niya naman ito kay kenji.

"Really.. it was a big oppurtunity to be with you.."

"I'd never thought we'd get along.." si Kei na ang nagsalita.

" Even though you hate our guts, you still managed to forgive our stupid pranks." Sabi ni Zeus habang tumatawa tawa pa.

"Let's never forget this friendship." Sincere na sabi ni Yurielle.

" Love till death do us part." Biro ni Haru. Hindi ko napigilang tumawa nang mahina nang makita expression ng mukha niya.

"Every accomplishment we achieved, it was because of you. Thank you for entering our lives."

Sa bawat salitang sinabi nila ay napaluha ako. Five years ago was when we started getting closer to each other. It was that time I started to manage their group.

Tinuruan ko sila sa mga bagay bagay. How should they act in public.

Hindi nagtagal ay  inaccept ko ang CEO title. I'm now their boss but our friendship still remains.

Staring at them made me feel nostalgic. I didn't realize I was staring at Kiko. It feels like he was staring at me too. I gave a faint smile. I observed him from head down to his body and then to his hand.

The ring shines brightly. It was too easy to see. I remember that day he proposed to Xiana. They are now a happy wedded couple.

I'm glad for them. Seeing them happy and contented made me feel proud of them.. as a manager, a friend,

and ofcourse, as a fan