One shots of Jin

You have me ( Taejinkook) 4

Tae pov::

Flashback~~~

" Jin hyung , seriously you brought dream catcher as my birthday gift....you are too much,, you would have brought some .....toys.... you know....I am 18 now... "

" Ya....pervert,,,I brought this because people say ,,it will catch all the bad dreams and let you have only good dreams ....I want my Taehyungiie to have only good things in a life "

" You still believe in these things , should I act surprised!!!? .....but see if sneak my hand to hold your waist tightly and throw my leg over your and rest my head over your shoulders like this and .....guide your hands to hold me by my shoulder ....wa perfect position ....and importantly don't let to keep a space for air between us....that's how my  bad dreams will run away....you know"

How much Taehyung slept  peacefully.......

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Jin hyung you are so stubborn,,,you are not here so you send this gift to me.....can I sleep today peacefully like before ,at least for today......

I heard you moved together with jk.....I feel happy for you ,,,you both deserve to be happy....but are you fool ?? Why are you still thinking about me??? When you shouldn't.....

but so selfish of me , always wanted this only, 

you to think only about me.....

Insecurities.......they eat us alive hyung,,,,, because you are too perfect to me,, so kind to me...you always make me feel loved ,belonged ....it scares the heck out of me.... because once you fed up with me....I can't get together myself.....it made me so selfish that ,I never said those magical words in our 5 yr relationship .....but you still said you love me.....

When I met you for the first time you were 16 yrs and I am 13 or 14 ?? ....the fact is I am the one first fell in love in our relationship ,,, me being coward never admitted it.....our first meeting was the very day I want to forget for my life time......how could you still look forward to meet someone like me....

The someone standing on the road side ,,,ready to be picked up by someone to get fuck ,ofcourse it was illegal as I was minor ,so that can get money to eat ,, give it to my prostitute abusive shit who gave birth to me....and suddenly you came in that road after your night schedule ,,as if my knight ......ye you are my one and only knight......

How cheep may be I looked when you seen me getting out of the car with shaking legs and holding some money ....you looked me in my eyes as if you were staring my soul.....you made me feel embarrassed??,,I just wanted to die.....

You keep on bumping me here and there,,,,you finally made me your friend ,,,and opened me up...when I told you I feel so disgusted to do the things for sake of surviving along with that abuser,,, you told me you will take care of me no matter what ,even without thinking......and you did ....you took care of me so well.....you made me free from all those toxicities of my life......

But why did you fell in love with me....??? Why me??? Some one chose money over you.....why hyung???? 

It's true I want to earn lot of money......lot a lot....that I never think of anything stupid that I did when I was 13 ,,,I don't want to become like that 13 yr kid again......but whom  I  am kidding,,,,it came in my blood hyung.......

When I see this different world.....I got fascinated towards to it.....it's all money here......and I needed support to stay here.....and I got it from Hosek hyung.....he is good to me....but that day when he pinned me to the wall ,,,and kissed me ....I kissed him back hyung.....I just kissed him back.....and I even thought of saying yes to him when he asked me to date......but trust me my heart always belonged you..  still now....

But you know what, he just did it to get reaction from yoongi hyung....our producer....the one with Hosek hyung is in love ......but he immediately asked me sorry ...and cleared the things  to me....and we carried it in public just to help hosek hyung......

But that very day,,, I got it how cheep I am.....so I decided someone like me shouldn't be in your life.....but it's so tough hyung.....I can't live without you.....

see I am selfish again......

Why I born there,???,,why I had to go through those things?? Why the pain of hungriness made me beast  for money made me this cheap....?? How could I be so disloyal to you??? Why?????? 

Why you loved me so much?? Why me??....

Even when I hold blade to cut my throat ,,,,your face flashed on the mirror ..., Why are you like this??? Why You are not letting me to go also....??

Why you have to love me like fool....??? You are fool hyung......fool......

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Taehyung curled himself in a blanket in the corner of his room leaving behind his king size bed ,with holding the dream catcher ,, how much he wish to leave behind all these and ran into his Jin hyung arms and curled up with him on their tiny bed and fought for the small blanket to cover themselves completely....

Tae doesn't want to dominate world anymore....he just wants to cup his world's cheeks and kiss him like there is no tommorow, tell him that how much he loves him.....but he knows he doesn't deserve Jin..... specially when Jin himself trying to move on from him.....

Jungkook......how much Taehyung envious of him,,,,he is always the best.....he is envious that Jin and jk met so decently mean in Normal way,,,he is envious jk from respectful family, he is envious jk have so lovely mom who loves him so much, he envied every time when Jin talk happily about jks family ,,he is envied every moment Jin spent with jk it felt so right,, he envious of jk is good at everything , ambitious , works hard he is all Jin likes in person....., 

Taehyung envious that jk loves Jin so much ,so genuinely, so selflessly unlike him, ,,,

Taehyung is so envious the fact that ,,jk is the only one  who deserves Jin in this world ...the truth pricks so hard to his heart......

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. Taehyung dreams .....he dreams every night ,,of him going back to Jin and beg for his forgiveness , to accept him back ,,to love him back again, and it would have been easy for him if Jin rejected  on his face ,,tell him to fuck of his shitty face....but no....in dream also Jin cries....cries and hugs him.....and tell him that he loves him......"

The guilty of choosing money over Jin is  eating him up....may be sooner this guilt will swallow him completely......

He wish for that day.......

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Taehyung 💔💔💔

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 Its okay if you want jinkook too 💜💜