One shots of Jin

What is love ? ( Taejinmin) 1

Tae pov;;

''jin hyung you ...you are out of..,. your.... breath ''...

i took my breath with lot of effort to get his attention ,who is panting to take breath ,

''brat !! you.... you ... dragged me ..to the roof ...top that to by...by  stairs  ,i am feeling like i will die ''

being the most dramatic ,he put his hands over his heart and acted like he is getting some heart attack ,,that made me laugh hard 

''wa ,,look at you i am dying here ,you are enjoying it ,,,you don't care for me ...i can see that KIM TAEHYUNG!!''

''no ...you are too dramatic  ,and by the way you told you gave your heart to me ,,,then its safe with me ..so don't worry you won't get heart attack ''

he just turned to me and gave smile ,oh i didn't tell you right ,he have very beautiful smile ...its something different but i don't know how to word it ....

''so you are telling me that ,you accepted my heart Tae ??''

''oh !!''

''hmm......wa look at the sky Taetae  it's  is full of stars today ....it looking like someone arranged it ....isn't it beautiful ??''

''jin hyung,,,"

"Hmm...."

"You .....you are again bringing that topic ,,i told you and now also  i am telling you i don't feel any thing and i don't even know what is that to feel ...i ....''

''Tae ...i also told you that ,,you don't have to love me back ...i am just joking , chil man..." But why I can see sadness in his eyes....

''Hyung do you still ??''

''hmm,,,i know its been 3 yrs right??,,,its going to be my last year in the uni ,and.....sorry i can't stop loving you ''....

jin hyung confessed me 3 yrs back ,,i was fresher that time... ,,i thought he was pranking  me ,,but he was not ,,i thought may be its some fun for him ,,,but it lasted for weeks to months and to years ,,,but he never forced me to feel that way ,,,

i mean i don't even know what is love ...i don't know what is that to be feel loved ,,,then how can i return his feelings ??

it's  like drama ...the unis good boy is in love with bad boy ...jin hyung is big package of goodness ,he is good at studies ,sports ,he respects elders and youngers in the same way ,,he is from a respectful family ,he is teachers pet ,he is always surrounded by his friends ,,the way he gets at least 2 or 3 confessions from the girls and boys daily , may be this is what you called being loved?

if you ask me why they call me ,,bad boy ....i don't know ,,,may be because i come l to classes late !?? but i have to go for 2 part time jobs early in the morning ,or may be because i come to class with bleeding nose ,messed hairs , ruined uniforms  often??,,

i don't like to talk with people ,,i am fine with my nest ,,,its feel burdensome to talk to people because i don't have anything to share with friends ,, I never tried to defend ,when anyone called me bad boy ,slum boy or thug or whatever ,, because it doesn't change anything in my life....

but jin hyung ,,,he is ,,different ...the only friend i have ,,,only one came into my space , ,he brings lunch to me daily ,,as he knows i can have only one meal a day ,,he never forgets to bring a first aid kit now ,,he cancels his weekends plans just to be with me ,,he made me sit with his group in free time as I don't have friends in my class, 

I don't know is  he pity me ?? Or this what he calls love?? Because pity is the  the only thing I received  from years from my neighbors ,from my classmates, from my co workers , .....pity towards my condition.....

I am not fan of affections ,may be because I know the reality well that there will be no one to show it to me....

but Jin hyung???

No....., how long it will lasts ,,?? end of this year  everything will change ...again i will be left out ,Jin hyung will move on with his life ...may be he will forget my existence too,what is there for him to come to that ugly mess with me.. ?? 

" What's going on in your little brain Tae.?"

" Nothing hyung......you.....what is your plan after graduation hyung??"

" I want to start my own business ,,me , yoongi and hosek we planned it together......we have some rough copy over that"

As always he is the best.....he already planned everything for the future.....and I  am here standing at the same point where the 5 yr kid in me  got beaten up because of his dad stole someones money ....

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Taehyung never woke up without hearing  police van horns or the neighbors yelling at his drunken mom ,he doesn't remember when he last went to sleep without the fear of someone's breaking into his house and beat them up for his dad stoling their money.....

Eventually it became routine for him....he stopped defending from the slaps ,,he learnt to accept it that's how it hurts less.....one thing became clear for him is he should earn money ,he should study hard that's how he can be out of this hell ....

he satarted working when he was 10yr old... Cleaner, helper in restaurants, milk delivery, paper delivery, food delivery, bar attender, many more.....it was difficult to maintain with school ,but he doesn't have option..... ,

But the most , difficult thing was to safeguard that money from his dad and mum.....many times he got stolen by his own mom....

But he never stopped of dreaming to become happy , ....happy on his own....happy by having  3 meals per day, happy by not getting beaten up ,happy by going to sleep peacefully ,happy to wake  up to  fresh air.....

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💜💜