Damn That FEELING-PERFECT Guy

Chapter 43

"What brings you here, Mr. Onessa?" I composed myself as he looked at me. Mataman syang nakatitig sa akin habang tinatahak ko ang hagdanan pababa na tila sinusuri ako ng malalalim nyang mga mata. Bahagya akong tumikhim para matauhan sya, nakakailang ang mga titig nya.

"Can we talk?" Seryosong aniya. Napabuntong hininga ako at pinipilit kong itago ang takot at kaba na bumabalot sa akin.

"What are we going to talk about, Mr.  Onessa? As far as I remember we've done talking and we have nothing to settle." Agad kong depensa. His jaw clenched.

"Why did you keep him away from me?" Diretsong tanong nya na hindi nakatingin sa mga mata ko. Napatanga na lang ako sa kanya. I can't even utter a word. Hindi ko alam kung pano sisimulan. Nagbabadya ang mga luha ko sa pagbuhos.

"H-He's not your son." Ang tanging nasambit ko. Bahagyang napakunot ang noo nya at napahilamos sa mukha nya.

"I am not stupid Hershey, just one glance and I'm fucking sure he's mine." Bakas ang inis sa pananalita nya. Hindi ko mabasa ang mga mata nya. Nag-aalab ang mga tingin nya pero parang may halong lungkot at sakit.

"Ano ngayon? Ha? Ano ngayon kung anak mo nga sya?! That won't change anything Kreuz!" sigaw ko sa kanya.
Tuluyang umagos ang mga luha ko.

Napaawang ang labi nya na tila di makapaniwala sa mga binitiwan ko.

"Are you doing this because you feel like he's your responsibility, Kreuz?" My voice cracked, hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ako at tuluyang bumuhos. My heart ached at that thought, parang pinipiga ang puso ko.

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin nang muli syang nagsalita.

"I've been damned for fucking five years, Hershey. P-Please...give me a chance." His voiced cracked. Napatungo ako habang patuloy pa rin sa paglandas ang mga luha ko. "I know you hated me for years but you think I'd been fucking fine for all those years, thinking that I've lost you?" Aniya na mas lalong nagpasikip ng dibdib ko. I can sense that he's about to cry, pero pinipigilan nya, his bloodshot eyes met mine as he approached me.

Nanatili lang akong tahimik habang nakikinig sa kanya.

"I did everything to find you, but what I found was you, whose already happy with someone else." He added. I wiped my tears away pero tila isa tong gripo na dire-diretso. "And damn it, you were pregnant with him. You know how much that fucking thought kills me? You, being pregnant with other man, just damn it, Hershey."

Napanganga ako sa sinabi nya. I'd never gave him the chance to explain and everytime he tried, I can't find words to say, para akong napako. Gustong sumabog ng puso ko sa sobrang bigat. "That's when I decided to give up. All that's left for me is to let you go and move on cause I'd fucking lost my chance on you." He said in teary eyed. Bumalik sakin lahat ng mga panahon na wala siya, ilang taon na kinaya kong harapin lahat kahit wala akong natatanggap na balita mula sa kanya. At the same part naging selfish ako, without even knowing na nahihirapan din sya. I was covered by pain and hatred. Jumping into conclusions without even asking how was he doing while I'm away.

He heaved a sigh and looked at me.

"But then I saw him... the moment I laid my eyes on him, I knew he's  mine. The mere fact that he ask for those books that day, he is my son, Hershey. And I will do everything to get you both back." I saw his jaw clenched.