KILL THIS LOVE (BOOK 1)

CHAPTER FORTY

LISA'S POV.

I reposed both of my palms on my cheeks while I squeeze it making me compressed my lips as I heaved out a deep breath.

I utter a yawn and nictitated my eyes wearily and stared at nowhere. I obviously didn't get enough sleep because I kept thinking about my mother's divulgence about my patter.

And boy, it wasn't what I bargained for. The fact of the matter has me so distorted.

"What a-are you saying?" I stared at my mother with a perplexed countenance as my tears halted from coming out.

"He is dead, Lisa. A very long time ago and it is impossible for you to meet him. A-are you, perhaps, h-having nightmares?" Mother stammered while giving me a perturbed look.

"No. You are lying! He was even the one who told me that he is my father!" I replied firmly while shaking my head.

"You need to rest. I-I think you are just imagining things in your head." I narrowed my eyes at her and harshly removed myself from the hug.

"You think I'm crazy?! I am telling the truth! Why do you keep hiding it from me when I already found it out?!" My mother let out a tear and gasped at my sudden outrage.

She thinks I am crazy for telling that I met my father. What is so hard about telling the truth?!

WHAT?

"Lisa, I need to tell you something. You have to listen to me, okay? I want you to listen to me carefully." My mother heaved a deep sigh and took the seat beside me.

She instantaneously focus her gaze on the ground and fiddle with her fingers in nervousness. My inquisitiveness getting the best of me. I look at her and anticipate for what she is going to say desperately.

"Your father and I... we were in a relationship before you were even born." My mom trailed off. I furrowed my brows in perplexity and my heart started to beat anxiously.

If they were in a relationship... did she lie about getting raped? I don't understand.

Is she twisting her story? How can they be in a relationship?

She answered my thoughts when I got muted, it's like she hears what is on my mind.

"We were in love. We were the typical high school sweetheart that lasted for years but one night changed it all... I didn't want to do it but he forced me... that night, a mistake and a sin was committed. What he was doing to me, it wasn't love. It was hunger, desperation, and pure lust. I didn't know what to do. I told him to stop, I even begged and cried for him to stop because I am starting to feel harassed. He devoured me like a sex slave and that time, I was drained. I felt empty... and for the first time in a long time, I felt disgusting and I came to realize that he just wanted my body." My mother cried upon reminiscing her past but I was still confused as ever.

"I felt used. It was really different... he took all of my strength and did it harshly out of my will. You weren't supposed to treat your lover like that. It was painful because out of all the people who will make me feel abused, why him? And I even hated the fact that I loved him. I did love him... with all my heart. I tried to ignore it, I even told myself that it is okay because we are together, and it's normal but I can't lie to myself. That night haunts me in my sleep and I came to realize that I was raped by the person I am in love with. I never thought it was possible to happen until I experienced it. I was never the same after that incident. I became scared of him, I was traumatized. I just couldn't look at him the same way anymore without breaking down internally." She contiued the story, trying her hardest not to break down and appear brave in front of me.