ENVY | SDS Present ✔ (TO BE EDITED)

Chapter 36

Sun rays that's hitting my face woke me up. I sighed because of disappointment in waking up. I rolled over and saw Caius peacefully sleeping in the sofa bed. Kahit nakabaluktot ay mahimbing pa rin ang tulog nya dahil alam kong napuyat sya sa pagbabantay sa akin.

I sighed before I went out of bed. I slowly and silently walked towards him then I squatted in front of him.

I appreciate everything you did for me, Caius. For the love you always made me feel. For not giving up on me. But as much as I want to go back to my old self, I can't. It's really hard because I always remember that day. The day I was shattered. Ang hirap kasing buuin ulit ng sarili ko, Caius. Kahit nandyan pa kayo para sa akin, nahihirapan ako. I'm sorry for being weak.

I sighed before planting a soft kiss in his head. Tumayo na ako at naisipan na maligo na. Paglabas ko ng guest room ay nakita ko ang altar sa tapat ng hagdanan. Instead of going back to my room, I went to the altar.

The red night lightbulbs are still on kaya baka natutulog pa si Lola Sol dahil nagdadasal sya dito tuwing umaga. This is the first time, I went out of my room and this is the first time I glared at the saints and religious artifacts. Then I looked above and saw the big cross where He died.

Nag-tagpo ang mga kilay ko habang naluluha na nakatingin sa Kanya. I stared at Him until my tears fell. Nakuyom ko ang mga kamay ko dahil sa galit ko sa Kanya.

"Finn?"

Linipat ko ang tingin ko sa gilid ko nang tawagin ako ni Caius. He sighed before he walked towards me. I looked at the altar again when he stood beside me.

"What are you doing here?" Mahina nyang tanong.

"I'm mad at Him." I mumbled while still crying.

"Am I a bad person, Caius?" Tanong ko sabay tingin sa kanya.

He looked at me worriedly before he sighed and shook his head.

"No, you are not. You're a good person, Finn." Mahinahon nyang sabi.

"Then why did He let this happen to me? Buong buhay ko naging mabuting tao ako. Kahit anong hirap ng buhay ko noon ay ayos lang sa akin. Nagtiis ako pero bakit Nya pa rin ako pinabayaan?" Iyak ko.

I saw how his face softened. He slowly raised his hand before he wiped my tears. I pushed his hand away but it was replaced by his other hand kaya naiyak lang ako lalo.

"He doesn't give you challenges that you can't overcome." He gently said as he wiped my tears.

"No. Ang sabihin mo unfair Sya. Bakit kailangan ako pa? There are many bad people out there na pwede Nyang parusahan, bakit ako pa?" I sobbed the last part.

Caius quickly pulled me into a hug before he hushed me. He caressed my back which only made me cry more. Ang sikip na ng dibdib ko dahil sa pag-iyak pero parang walang planong tumigil ang mga luha ko.

"Don't say that. He is only making you stronger, Finn." He whispered while still caressing my back.

"We may not understand why He made this happen to you but we should trust Him. You have to have faith in Him, Finn." He added before pulling away from me.

"If you don't want to talk with us then at least talk with Him, Finn." He said before he planted a soft kiss in my head then he walked away from me.

Kanina pa tumigil ang mga luha ko pero masikip pa rin ang dibdib ko. Tumingin ulit ako sa Kanya bago dumapo ang tingin ko sa Bible na nasa altar. Kinuha ko ito at dinala sa guest room.

I sat on the chair by the window before I opened the Bible with a trembling hand. Dahil sa mga sinabi ni Caius ay naalala ko si Mommy. Dati kasi ay binabasahan nya ako ng mga Bible verses at palagi nyang pinapaalala na mahal Nya kami at dapat laging magtiwala sa Kanya.