Black Fray (Ruby, Suicideboys Story - completed)

XXIII

Scrim

Well it sounds like they have worked out their kink's, please excuse the pun. I covered my head with a pillow to try and drown out the noise. Her moans where echoing around the house. I wouldn't get back to sleep now I might aswell get up. I dragged my self up and into the shower. The water dulled the noise of them fucking. I stood under there for what felt like seconds but I must have been in there for at least 20 minutes. I pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt with sliders and headed down to look at making breakfast.

Coco was already up and was making some sweet tea so I put on the coffee

"Sounds like they worked stuff out" she raises her eyebrows "How'd you feel about it?"

"I hadn't even thought about it to be honest. They seem well matched"

"It doesn't matter if they are well matched it matters about feelings. Do you have feelings for her?" She sits on a stool at the island across from me

"Yes, but I don't know what they are. I feel protective over her but I can't work out if it's because of what happened with Joe or if I like her more than friends" I slump on the chair next to her
"Not that it matters anymore" I nod in the direction to her room

"Of course it matters, your feelings are just as important. You just need to be honest with yourself" she squeezes my shoulder "Now, what are you making me for breakfast?" I roll my eyes and get up.

"Pancakes?" Her squeal is an obvious yes. I get to work. I've not used this kitchen much. I find what I need and me and Coco make small talk as she watches me. By the time people start to make their way down there's a pile of pancakes, side of bacon and fruit laid out.Everyone starts to help themselves to food and drinks. 

"I didn't know you could cook $crim?" Shania says as she helps herself to coffee. I shoot her a cheesy grin

"There's a lot you don't know little one" I chuckle

After breakfast everyone helped to clean up and we spent the rest of the day around the pool. We ordered in lunch and some of us played hoops while the rest rest relaxed lounging by the pool. At around 5, people started to head off for their flights home. Ruby and Shay decided to go to his which meant they were going to have sex somewhere no one could hear. That left me alone. And the loneliness started to creep in.

I thought I might as well try and unravel this whole thing in my head while I had alone time. Maybe I need to get this out my system. But would fucking Shay help? Did I just need to fuck anyone? I may just be horny...I might just be lonely and Shay is the only genuine person that has shown interest in me since rehab. Maybe i'm just latching onto that. I definitely don't want to be that guy who pursues another guys girl. Especially when that guy is practically my brother.

I busied myself in my music and business . Me and Kyle had arranged for the band to come over and stay at mine. They would be arriving tomorrow, we needed to make sure we has all the relevant paperwork and documents ready. I only stopped to eat and that was ordered in.

I got a text to say that Shay was staying at Oddy's. Which i kinda guessed would happen. She's only been here 2 days and she's already left me.

For the rest of the night I rattled around the house not having anything to do. I couldn't concentrate on making any new music and I needed Oddy to progress any of the others. I made my way down to the movie room and put on my favourite show 'Shameless' making myself comfortable for a binge. I'd gathered snacks and I had Pontiac on my knee.

A couple of episodes in and I must have fell asleep. I woke up to Pontiac licking my face to get up and let her out. I pulled myself to my feet and groggily walked through the house. I grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen as I passed to let her out. I sat and had a cigarette outside watching the nights sky, the stars twinkling in the black span of space. I stayed watching it for a while before heading to bed. Pontiac hot on my heels. 

I lay in bed but couldn't get comfortable. I tossed and turned constantly, I was too restless. It was 1 in the morning but I didn't want to watch any more TV my brain couldn't concentrate. I needed to get out the house. I pulled on some work out clothes and got Pontiac's harness. Within 10 minutes I was jogging around my neighbourhood.Feeling the tarmac pound beneath my feet as Pontiac ran alongside me. I felt better with the endorphins pumping around my body. I was stressing myself out. All the changes and new situations where sending my head doolally. This  whole scenario was definitely testing my sobriety.